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A Styling Jew On Christmas

 By Paul Rudoff on Dec. 6, 2015 at 12:00 PM , Categories: Miscellaneous , Tags:
THE LONELY JEW ON CHRISTMAS
Kyle Broflofski (Matt Stone) with Special Celebrity Guest (Neil Diamond impersonator)

[Kyle]
It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas
My friends wont let me join in any games
And I cant sing Christmas songs
Or decorate a Christmas tree
Or leave water out for Rudolph
'Cause there's something wrong with me
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity

I'm a Jew
A lonely Jew
On Christmas

Hanukkah is nice but why is it
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating ham I have to eat kosher latkes
Instead of Silent Night I'm singing
Hoo Hact Toh Gaveesh
And what the fuck is up with lighting all these
Fucking candles, tell me please?

I'm a Jew
A lonely Jew
I can't be merry
'Cause I'm Hebrew
On Christmas

[Special Celebrity Guest]
Hey little boy I couldn't help but hear
Your feeling left out of Christmas cheer
And I've come to say that you shouldn't be sad
This is the one month you should be glad

'Cause its nice to be a Jew on Christmas
You don't have to deal with the season at all
You don't have to be on your best behavior or give to charity
You don't have to have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family

[Kyle]
And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap
And have him breathe his stinky breath on me

[Special Celebrity Guest]
That's right, you're a Jew!

[Kyle]
A styling Jew!

[Together]
Its a good time to be Hebrew
On Christmas...

[Special Celebrity Guest]
On Christmas

---
END

Pages: · 2

1 comment

Comment from: ramonathomas [Visitor]

Thanks so much for sharing! I can’t disagree with the fact that the time before Christmas can be a time of sheer joy, yet it can also be a time of depression. So, I think it’s normal to express our feelings and emotions in music, dancing or writing. My friend’s frustration grew so high that she just had to put her feelings to writing. She just wrote about everything. You can hop over to this website to see the way she expresses her creativity. I have been really enjoying her content!

Jan. 20, 2016 @ 10:24

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