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A Styling Jew On Christmas

 By Paul Rudoff on Dec. 6, 2015 at 12:00 PM , Categories: Miscellaneous , Tags:
Unusual Holiday Songs

The month of December can be a downright depressing time of the year if you don't worship the fat guy in the red suit. Go to any store, and you'll likely see candy canes, wreaths, Santa, Rudolph, Frosty, stockings, and red and green 'til your eyes bleed. Looking for some blue and white? Maybe, if you're *really* lucky, you'll find a small display of Hanukkah merch shoved in the back, or hiding in a corner somewhere - and that's if the store even bothers to carry stuff for their Jewish customers.


Little Kyle Broflofski of South Park, Colorado knows all too well what it's like to be a Jew on Christmas. His frustration grew so intense that he just had to put his feelings to music. Below is little Kyle's homemade recording, with a transcription of his lyrics on page two of this post. I hope the lyrics are correct. It was hard to decipher some of Kyle's crayon-written notes. I should tell you that little Kyle has quite a little potty-mouth on him. He drops the F-Bomb quite a bit, so a "Parental Advisory - Explicit Content" warning is warranted.

Kyle Broflovski (Matt Stone) - The Lonely Jew On Christmas

This song actually comes from the television series "South Park", and appears on the album Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics. For more South Park holiday fun, check out the episodes "Mr. Hankey, The Christmas Poo" (1997) and "Mr. Hankey's Christmas Classics" (1999), both of which appear on the Christmas Time In South Park DVD ("Classics" is also on the long out-of-print Christmas in South Park DVD). Considering that they are hosted by a talking piece of fecal matter, it almost goes without saying that they are not suitable for kids.

(panel from Slimer! comic issue #11)

For the complete list of Spook Central's holiday song posts from years past, click here. Thanks to Matthew Jordan for making the "Unusual Holiday Songs" title banner that appears at the top of this post.

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1 comment

Comment from: ramonathomas [Visitor]

Thanks so much for sharing! I can’t disagree with the fact that the time before Christmas can be a time of sheer joy, yet it can also be a time of depression. So, I think it’s normal to express our feelings and emotions in music, dancing or writing. My friend’s frustration grew so high that she just had to put her feelings to writing. She just wrote about everything. You can hop over to this website to see the way she expresses her creativity. I have been really enjoying her content!

Jan. 20, 2016 @ 10:24

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