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TV Series > The Real Ghostbusters > Scripts
THE REAL GHOSTBUSTERS
"Poultrygeist!"

by
Duane Capizzi
and
Steven Roberts

May 12, 1988
transcribed by Paul Rudoff
html coding by Paul Rudoff


ACT ONE

FADE IN:

EXT. -- A FARMHOUSE OUTSIDE NEW YORK CITY -- NIGHT

On the farmhouse roof a CHICKEN-SHAPED WEATHERVANE stands silhouetted against a FULL, BLOOD-RED MOON. The wind HOWLS and the vane swivels with an EERIE SQUEAK. Then a weird ANIMAL CRY is heard -- a cross between a chicken CROWING and a wolf HOWLING.

WERECHICKEN (VO)
(A CROWING HOWL)

CAMERA PANS DOWN TO:

CHICKEN PEN

A fenced-in dirt area with numerous CHICKENS milling around, CLUCKING as they peck at the ground.

WERECHICKEN (VO)
(ANOTHER HOWL, nearer now)
The chickens' heads jerk up toward the sound.

WERECHICKEN'S POV -- MOVING

A RED-tinted, shaky, MOVING CAMERA TRUCK-IN on the chickens. (These shots are in the style of the POV SHOTS in WOLFEN.) Magnified GURGLING and HEAVY BREATHING of Werechicken is heard.

WERECHICKEN (VO)
(GURGLING, HEAVY BREATHING)

The terrified chickens stare INTO CAMERA as the Werechicken moves closer, his shadow falling over them. They flap into their coop, SQUAWKING wildly.

INT. -- FARMHOUSE LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

MAUDE and ZEKE sit on the sagging couch watching a werewolf movie on TV while munching popcorn from a huge bowl. They're distracted by CHICKENS SQUAWKING.

ZEKE
Sump'n's stirrin' up the chickens, Maude.

MAUDE
Jes' set easy, Zeke.
(she rises; heads for door)
I'll take a look-see.

Zeke continues staring at TV.

EXT. FARMHOUSE -- NIGHT -- WERECHICKEN'S POV

Through the Werechicken's red eyes, we see a distant image of Maude with a flashlight, approaching the fenced-in chicken pen and opening the gate. CAMERA STARTS MOVING IN toward Maude as she enters, leaving gate open.

WERECHICKEN (VO)
(GURGLING, HEAVY BREATHING)

ANGLE WITHIN CHICKEN PEN

The dirt compound is empty now as Maude crosses toward wooden chicken coop.

MAUDE
(as she goes)
Here, chick-chick-chick-chick.

INT. CHICKEN COOP -- OTS MAUDE

AS Maude ENTERS from OUT OF CAMERA, her flashlight beam illuminates the chickens cowering on their roosts in a corner. They CLUCK nervously.

MAUDE
What's got you girls so durned upset? There a coyote sneakin' 'round?

Suddenly the Werechicken's shadow moves up Maude's back, then the wall.

WERECHICKEN (VO)
(Low, gutteral CLU-UCK)

Maude looks over her shoulder AT CAMERA, reacts.

MAUDE
(GASP!)

MAUDE'S POV -- THE WERECHICKEN

Red-eyed, grotesque, three times the size of an ordinary rooster as it stands framed in the moonlit doorway. It opens its fanged beak in a horrifying SHRIEK as it springs AT CAMERA, wings flapping.

WERECHICKEN
(Frightening SHRIEK)

INT. FARMHOUSE LIVING ROOM - CLOSE ON TV

Old black-and-white movie. MELODRAMATIC MUSIC as a man turns into a werewolf, his HOWL a continuation of the previous Werechicken SHRIEK.

TV WEREWOLF
(eerie HOWL)

WIDER ANGLE - ZEKE

continues watching TV and eating popcorn. Maude walks stiffly into room behind him, eyes staring blankly.

ZEKE
(without looking up)
Everythin' okay out there, Maude?

WAIST SHOT -- MAUDE

She stares with glassy, red eyes and CLUCKS quietly.

MAUDE-CHICKEN
(CLUCKS)

ZEKE (VO)
What say?

PAN DOWN below Maude's waist to reveal that she's turning into a chicken from the feet up. First her shoes RIP apart as large, yellow chicken feet sprout. Then her dress SWELLS and SPLITS, revealing a large, feathered body underneath. The only piece of clothing left on her is her apron. One foot scratches the floor.

MAUDE-CHICKEN (VO)
(more CLUCKS)

WIDER ANGLE -- FULLSHOT OF MAUDE-CHICKEN

Now completely transformed and six feet tall, she leaps up to perch on back of couch, THRUSTING her chicken head repeatedly into the popcorn bowl in Zeke's lap, pecking the bowl clean. Zeke's jaw hangs open, speechless, as he stares at the fanged, drooling, six-foot Werechicken. The Werechicken looks up from the empty bowl, right in Zeke's terrified eyes.

ZEKE
(SCREAMS)

He scrambles backwards off the couch.

EXT. FARMHOUSE -- NIGHT - WERECHICKEN'S POV

SCENE RED-tinted. We hear loud SQUAWKING from within house as chicken feathers fly out the open windows.

ZEKE (VO)
(YELLING)
Get away!' Scat! Shoo!

MAUDE-CHICKEN (VO)
(loud SQUAWKING)

CLOSE ANGLE -- WERECHICKEN

Watching from slight hilltop. Its beak seems to bend into an insidious grin.

ZEKE (VO)
(from distance)
Help! ... He-elp!

CUT TO:

EXT. ESTABLISHING -- GHOSTBUSTERS HQ - NIGHT

As CAMERA MOVES IN, we hear:

PETER (VO)
Egon, could you hold off on the weather balloon bit for a minute?

DISSOLVE THRU TO:

INT. -- LABORATORY -- ON PETER AND RAY

They stand holding big plastic bags of trash, obviously annoyed at the O.S. Egon. Ray's armful of trash is piled so high that he can't see over it. SLIMER hovers behind, sticking his nose in one of the bags like a dog. He finally dives right into it.

PETER (CONT)
It's your night to take out the trash.

RAY
And Winston's in the kitchen doing your dishes.

ANGLE ON EGON

He's busy testing his WEATHER BALLOON -- a large, pink bubble half the size of the room. He moves a lever on its remote control unit and the balloon rises.

EGON
(preoccupied; through above)
Be with you in ...
(checks watch)
... one minute, fifty-three seconds.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Peter and Ray exchange pained glances. Peter awkwardly attempts to pick up another trash bag while Ray stumbles around, his vision blocked. PAN WITH THEM as they move toward door when Egon's weather balloon suddenly lowers INTO FRAME. They bounce into and off of it, which sends the trash bags flying.

PETER AND RAY
(AD-LIB REACTIONS as
they bounce off balloon)

NEW ANGLE

Peter stumbles backwards and lands butt-first right on one of the bags. Slimer SQUEALS from within it.

SLIMER (VO)
(big muffled SQUEAL)

Then he comes shooting out the back of the bag, the lower half of his body flat as a Frisbee.

SLIMER

shakes himself off like a dog, spraying slime all over Peter.

PETER
(pissed; sarcastic)
Thanks, Slimer. I really needed that!

SLIMER
Sorreee!

ANOTHER ANGLE

Ray helps Peter up as the telephone RINGS and RINGS.

RAY
(irritated)
Egon! The phone!

ON EGON

The RINGING phone is right beside him on the workbench.

EGON
(preoccupied with remote controls)
In a minute, Ray.

ANGLE ON WINSTON

He ENTERS with sleeves rolled up, wiping a plate with a dish towel and wearing an apron.

WINSTON
(sarcastic)
Nevermind, Egon, wouldn't want you to strain yourself.
(picks up phone)
Ghostbusters Central.

VOICE OVER PHONE
(excited CHATTER)

WINSTON
Calm down ... Where are you? ...
(a BEAT as he listens)
We'll be right there.

He hangs up.

WIDER ANGLE

Peter and Ray again have their arms full of trash bags. Even Slimer is dragging one.

WINSTON
Ready for this one? Some farmer says his wife was eaten by a giant chicken.

PETER
Hey, even a half-baked false alarm sounds better than doing Egon's chores.
(he drops trash bags)
Let's roll!

Ray and Slimer also abandon their trash bags and EXIT with Peter and Winston.

REAR VIEW ON EGON

still oblivious as he works in the suddenly empty room.

EGON
I think I've finally perfected it. Watch this, guys.
(a BEAT, he looks around over shoulder)
Guys?

WIPE TO:

EXT. -- COUNTRY ROAD - ESTABLISHING - NIGHT

ECTO-1 roars INTO CAMERA, siren and lights going.

INT. -- ECTO 1 -- MOVING

The Ghostbusters, minus Egon, are wearing their gear. Slimer hovers in back seat.

RAY
It sure feels strange not having Egon with us.

PETER
(sarcastic)
Why? Lately even when he's with us, he's not with us.

ON WINSTON

Driving.

WINSTON
But wouldn't it be somethin' if he sells that weather balloon idea of his? He'll be a rich man!

ON PETER

Arms folded, grumpily.

PETER
Good. Then he can hire a maid to do his share of the chores.

EXT. -- ECTO 1 -- NIGHT

As it speeds OUT OF CAMERA toward distant farmhouse, PAN OVER TO the apron-wearing Maude-Chicken silhouetted in the moonlight, nesting in a haystack. MOVE IN TO --

CLOSER ANGLE ON MAUDE-CHICKEN

Her body starts to shake, she ruffles her wings.

MAUDE-CHICKEN
(Egg-laying CLUCKS)

Then she suddenly sits up and leaps off the haystack, revealing an enormous egg beneath her. Maude SQUAWKS and CLUCKS and struts off into a cornfield, pecking away at ears of corn.

MAUDE-CHICKEN
(SQUAWKS and CLUCKS)

CUT TO:

INT. -- FARMHOUSE LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

Ray, Winston and Slimer listen seriously as Zeke speaks, but Peter's obviously not buying it.

ZEKE
Had big blood-red eyes, it did. Biggest dang chicken I ever seen. Mebbe six feet tall.

Peter rolls his eyes.

WINSTON
Shouldn't be hard to find.

RAY

is jotting info on notepad.

RAY
Did it have any distinguishing marks?

ANOTHER ANGLE

PETER
Ray! It's six feet tall!

Peter grabs Ray's arm, starts ushering him to front door.

PETER (CONT)
(over shoulder as he goes)
Thank you, Sir. We'll put out a missing chicken report right away.

EXT. FARMHOUSE - NIGHT

As the three Ghostbusters and Slimer cross toward Ecto-1 parked in front.

PETER
(as they go)
This one's easy, guys. Old Zeke's been watchin' too many horror movies and eating too much greasy popcorn.

CLOSER ANGLE -- MOVING

RAY
No, Peter, I think we're dealing with a bonafide werechicken here.

CLOSER ANGLE

Peter and Winston stop, look at Ray in disbelief.

WINSTON
A werechicken?

PETER
Get serious, Ray.

RAY
Then explain those!

Ray points at ground. Peter, Winston and Slimer look down.

THEIR POV

Peter is standing with both feet in two enormous chicken footprints.

SMASH CUT TO:

EXT. -- OPEN FIELD -- NIGHT

The three Ghostbusters follow Maude's "chicken" tracks with powerful flashlights across a field spotted with haystacks. Slimer moves ahead, nose to ground like a bloodhound.

SLIMER
(SNIFFS as he goes)

ANGLE ON SLIMER

He floats along above the flashlight-illuminated tracks which lead him right into the haystack. We hear a BONK from within, then:

SLIMER (VO)
Ow!

Slimer backs OUT INTO SHOT rubbing his head. He looks up and his eyes pop wide.

SLIMER
(amazed GASP!)

LOW ANGLE ON GIANT EGG

The Ghostbusters ENTER SHOT and play their flashlights across the huge egg sitting atop the haystack.

RAY
(excited)
What'd I tell you, Peter? A werechicken egg! Gimme a hand, Winston!

WIDER ANGLE

As Ray and Winston ease the egg down off the haystack. Peter holds his PKE meter up to it.

PETER
Look, if this is a werechicken egg,

CLOSER ANGLE -- METER

Nothing registers on the meter.

PETER (CONT)
... how come there's no PKE reading?

THREESHOT

Ray and Winston still hold giant egg.

RAY
(looking at meter in Peter's hand)
I dunno ... that is strange.

WINSTON
Let's get it back to Headquarters and run some tests. Then maybe we'll have some answers.

ON RAY

RAY
Oh no, I'm not leavin'. The werechicken that laid this has gotta be around here someplace -- and I'm gonna find it.

ON PETER AND SLIMER

PETER
(throws up his hands with heavy SIGH)
I'll take it. C'mon, Slimer.

They take egg from Ray and Winston and start back toward Ecto-l.

PETER (CONT)
(shaking his head; as he goes)
Werechickens.

WERECHICKEN'S POV

Through its RED EYES we see, from a distance, Peter and Slimer carrying the egg, Ray and Winston moving off in other direction.

WERECHICKEN (VO)
(BREATHING & SLOBBERING)

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. -- GHOSTBUSTERS HQ - LAB - NIGHT

Egon still busy with his balloon as Peter and Slimer carry egg in through door.

PETER
(through above)
Yo, balloon man, we've got some real work for you: How about analyzing this?

ANOTHER ANGLE

Egon looks around, reacts to egg.

EGON
Interesting. That's the second biggest egg I've ever seen.

Peter and Slimer set egg on Egon's desk.

PETER
I don't wanna hear about it, Egon. We've had a long night in a not-too-fragrant barnyard, so I'm taking a shower and hitting the sheets.

Peter EXITS as Slimer ZIPS in close beside Egon, elbows on desk, chin in hands, eyeing Egon and egg expectantly. Egon pushes glasses up off tip of nose and blinks at egg, not sure what to do with it. CAMERA MOVES IN on egg and we --

MATCH-DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. -- FULL MOON IN COUNTRY SKY -- NIGHT

CAMERA PANS DOWN from full moon to reveal the tiny figures of Ray and Winston approaching an old barn. They stop, shining their flashlights on closed main door.

WINSTON
(tired)
Ray, it's gettin' pretty late. Maybe there really isn't any ...

RAY
(holds up one hand)
Shh!

CLOSER ANGLE

Ray extends his PKE meter toward barn. It BEEPS incessantly.

RAY
(low voice)
It's in there.

WINSTON
(unclipping his blaster)
Then let's get it!

INT. BARN -- HIGH ANGLE ON MAIN DOOR -- WERECHICKEN'S POV

Through its RED EYES we see the barn door slowly CREAK open, revealing Ray and Winston peering in.

CLOSER ANGLE -- RAY AND WINSTON

They ENTER cautiously, Ray holding his BEEPING meter out before him. The barn is dark except for the moonlight slanting through the loft window and the beams of their flashlights. As the WIND picks up, WOOD CREAKS, HAY RUSTLES, and a piece of JUNKY machinery turns with a SQUEAL.

WINSTON
(WHISPER)
Man, this place is creepy.

RAY
(WHISPER)
It's in here -- I can feel it.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Suddenly the door SLAMS shut behind them and the FLAP OF BEATING WINGS SCURRIES through the darkness. Winston JUMPS.

WINSTON
Look out!

Ray shines his flashlight toward the lofts. Its beam catches a couple of startled pigeons as they fly out the window, pinion feathers WHISTLING.

REACTION SHOT -- RAY AND WINSTON

RAY & WINSTON
(relieved SIGHS)

WERECHICKEN'S POV

RED-TINTED, moving slowly toward Ray and Winston from behind.

WERECHICKEN (VO)
(HEAVY BREATHING)

CLOSE ON RAY AND WINSTON

They stop as PKE meter starts BEEPING. Ray checks the reading.

RAY
(whisper)
Something's close. Very close.

WERECHICKEN'S POV

Closing on Ray and Winston.

WERECHICKEN (VO)
(HEAVY BREATHING)

The guys wheel around.

THEIR POV ON WERECHICKEN

We see only its face. The blood-red eyes stare menacingly, its fanged beak slightly open and drooling.

WERECHICKEN
(HEAVY RASPY BREATHING)

ZOOM BACK TO --

WIDER ANGLE ON WERECHICKEN

It hops forward into a streak of moonlight. It's three feet tall, its wings hang out at the sides, and its evil, blood-red eyes stare at CAMERA.

WERECHICKEN (CONT)
(HEAVY PANTING)

RAY (VO)
It is a Werechicken!

ANGLE ON RAY and WINSTON

Backing away, blasters leveled.

WINSTON
Man, he is ugly!

ANGLE ON WERECHICKEN

It postures, rooster-like and:

WERECHICKEN
(ROARS angrily)

ON RAY and WINSTON

Still backing up.

RAY
Bad choice of words, Winston.

THE WERECHICKEN suddenly leaps AT CAMERA.

WERECHICKEN
(loud SHRIEKING SQUAWK)

WERECHICKEN'S POV

ZOOM-IN on Winston and Ray. They open fire.

FULL SHOT

The proton streams catch the Werechicken in mid-air as it vaults toward Ray and Winston, halting its leap and suspending it in a corona of proton energy.

WERECHICKEN
(SHRIEKS)

A HIDEOUS SPIRIT rises from its writhing body -- shapeless, but with monstrous glowing eyes and fangs. The spirit lets out a ROAR more frightening than the Werechicken howl.

SPIRIT
(big ROAR)

CLOSER ANGLE

Ray, still firing his gun, snaps a trap loose from his belt, and tosses it onto the barn floor. It POPS open.

RAY
Trap out!

ANOTHER ANGLE

Ray and Winston, struggling with the writhing Spirit caught in the streams, guide the Spirit into the trap.

WINSTON
Hang on! That's it!

RAY
We've almost got him!

CLOSE ON TRAP

The Spirit is sucked into the trap, which SLAMS shut.

WIDER ANGLE -- RAY AND WINSTON

A normal chicken with singed feathers stands where the Werechicken was. It CLUCKS, starts pecking at the dirt.

CHICKEN
(Normal CLUCKING)

RAY
(looking at chicken)
Well, that takes care of one werechicken.

CLOSER ON THE GUYS

Ray picks up the smoking trap.

RAY (CONT)
Now to find the six-footer that ate Zeke's wife.

They head for the door. Winston stops.

WINSTON
Ray, I just had a thought ...

Ray pauses to look around at Winston.

WINSTON (CONT)
What if that six-foot werechicken is Zeke's wife?

And off their looks, we --

CUT TO:

INT. -- GHOSTBUSTERS HQ -KITCHEN -- NIGHT

Egon carries the big egg into kitchen, Slimer helping.

EGON
(straining)
Thanks for the help, Slimer, but I don't have time to examine this egg tonight. I have to prepare for my weather balloon demonstration tomorrow morning.

ANOTHER ANGLE

With his elbow, Egon opens refrigerator with and the two of them place the giant egg inside.

EGON (CONT)
(through above)
But it'll be safe in here.

SLIMER
Yeah.

Egon closes fridge.

SLIMER
(big YAWN)
G'night, Egon.

Slimer floats off.

EGON
Goodnight, Slimer.

WIPE TO:

INT. -- BEDROOM

Slimer is SNORING, hovering above Peter's empty bed.

SLIMER
(SNORING)

CLOSE ON SLIMER

In a BUBBLE above him, we see Slimer's DREAM, various kinds of food dancing and SINGING the first two bars of Los Lobos' "LA BAMBA" a la the California Raisins in "I Heard It Through The Grapevine." Still asleep, Slimer licks his lips hungrily, opens his mouth incredibly wide and pounces on the entire dream balloon with a teeth-jarring CHOMP! that POPS the dream bubble so that it EXPLODES inside his mouth, waking him up. Slimer sits up with a wide-eyed, hungry look, rubbing his tummy.

SLIMER
Fooooood.

He zips o.s.

INT. -- KITCHEN

Dark. Lights go on, then Slimer SKIDS to mid-air stop and whips open fridge. His eyes pop as he sees the egg.

SLIMER
(licking his lips)
Yummy!

Slimer rolls egg toward edge of shelf, then the full weight of the egg drives Slimer straight to the floor. The egg bounces on his stomach twice before he gets a grip on it. Straining his little green brains out, he floats the egg up into the air and o.s.

SLIMER
(SQUEALS, then GRUNTS)

ANGLE ON OVEN

Slimer shoves egg in the open oven, closes door, turns on the heat, then moves O.S. The oven interior glows red and the egg starts to quiver.

ON SLIMER

Slimer HUMS as he busily sets table for one: placemat, a plate, utensils, salt, pepper, ketchup, mustard, mayo, relish, ... a flurry of activity that all focuses on his personal eating spot.

SLIMER
(HUMMING through above)

ANGLE ON OVEN

Through window we see the egg shake and then begin to crack open.

RESUME ON SLIMER

Hovering at table, still preparing for feast. He puts on a bib, unaware of oven shaking behind him.

SLIMER
(still HUMMING)

With a loud BANG, the oven practically explodes and the door flies off. Out pops a BABY WERECHICKEN, SNARLING and CACKLING.

BABY WERECHICKEN
(SNARLING, CACKLING)

ON SLIMER

His eyes bug and his paw drops.

SLIMER
(startled SCREAM)

Slimer barrels up through sink faucet, leaving his bib stuck in the opening.

INT. -- SHOWER

Peter shampooing his hair.

PETER
(AD LIB SINGING)

Slimer comes shooting out through shower nozzle, hugs Peter tightly around the neck and scaring the hell out of him.

PETER
(startled YELL; then:)
Slimer! How 'bout some privacy??

SLIMER
(pointing, eyes wide)
Monster! Inna kitchen!

PETER
Monster?

SLIMER
(nods)
Uh-huh! Uh-huh!
(imitates werechicken)
(SNARLING & CACKLING)

INT. -- LAB

Egon works at his table. A now familiar Werechicken shadow appears over his shoulder and grows up the wall.

CLOSER ANGLE - REAR VIEW ON EGON

Werechicken creeps OUT OF CAMERA, bites Egon on the rear and pulls back o.s., chicken claws CLATTERING off into distance.

EGON
(looking around)
Ow!

BABY WERECHICKEN (VO)
(CACKLING fading into distance)

ON EGON

Dazed, he looks down at his feet.

CLOSE ON EGON'S SHOES

Chicken toes pop through the leather, one at a time.

EGON (VO)
(dazed)
What?

CLOSE SHOTS

As Egon's transformation continues: His coveralls RIP apart at the legs, then midriff, then his arms turn into wings. Finally, a beak sprouts from his face.

EGON-CHICKEN
(Weird CLUCK)

SMASH CUT TO:

INT. HALL OUTSIDE LAB -- NIGHT

Peter (now dressed and wearing his backpack) runs up to lab door and flings it open, Slimer right behind him.

INT. LAB

Peter and Slimer look in, not seeing Egon, who is now a six-foot-tall werechicken, but still wearing his glasses, standing behind door.

PETER
(CALLS)
Egon?
(to Slimer)
Well, Slimer, I don't see anything here that looks like a monster.

The Egon-Chicken jumps out right in front of Peter and Slimer.

EGON-CHICKEN
(CHICKEN HOWL)

ANOTHER ANGLE

Slimer freaks and rockets right through the nearest wall.

SLIMER
(SQUEALS as he goes)

PETER
Holy cow!!

Peter raises his proton gun.

CLOSE ON EGON-CHICKEN

He flaps his wings wildly, his red eyes bulging, and GROWLS, revealing impressive fangs.

EGON-CHICKEN
(LOUD GROWL)

END ACT ONE

ACT TWO

INT. -- GHOSTBUSTERS LAB -- NIGHT

Egon the Werechicken moves toward Peter, fangs bared in attack mode.

EGON-CHICKEN
(SNARLING as he goes)

ON PETER

He steps back into doorway, blaster leveled at Egon-Chicken, and SNAPS on the power. It HUMS to life.

PETER
(horrified)
What'd you do to Egon, you bird-brain!

RAY (VO)
Peter! Wait!

A hand grabs Peter by the arm just as the thrower fires, sending the proton stream off at an angle into ceiling, barely missing the chicken.

PETER
(surprised as he looks around)
Hey!

INT. CORRIDOR OUTSIDE LAB

as Ray pulls Peter out into corridor, Winston kicks door shut in the Egon-Chicken's snarling face and quickly locks it. Slimer hovers nearby looking worried.

EGON-CHICKEN (VO)
(SNARLS)

CLOSE ANGLE

The door SHAKES and SHUDDERS as the unseen Egon-Chicken tries to break through.

PETER
(irritated; through above)
What's wrong with you guys? That thing ate Egon!

RAY
Peter, that is Egon! The egg hatched, he was bitten and now he's a werechicken!

The door behind them is starting to splinter and bulge from the battering of the Egon-Chicken.

PETER
(looking at door)
You're kidding!
(a BEAT, then)
Come to think of it, there was a certain resemblance.

Suddenly the battering stops.

WINSTON
(looking toward door)
What happened? He's so quiet all of a sudden.

ON RAY

Looking toward o.s. window, he reacts.

RAY
It's the moon!

He hurries o.s.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Ray stops at window, looks out. Beyond we see the full moon. Peter, Winston and Slimer come up behind him.

RAY (CONT)
Tonight's the first --

CLOSE ON MOON

It's beginning to disappear, right to left.

RAY (VO)(CONT)
-- lunar eclipse in ten years!

ON GHOSTBUSTERS AND SLIMER

All looking out window as eclipse continues

PETER
Ray, what's this have to do with Egon being a chicken?

RAY
(turning to others)
Werechickens only appear during a full moon, and for the next few minutes, the moon's not full.

INT. LAB -- ON DOOR

Door opens and Ray pecks in.

RAY
(tentative)
Egon?

ANGLE ON EGON

Seen from the waist up (he's not wearing clothes), looking around, confused. He sees Ray.

EGON
Ray, what is going on?

WIDER ANGLE

Egon is holding his tattered coveralls in front of his waist, like a skirt.

EGON (CONT)
And why am I naked?

Suddenly Slimer flies INTO SHOT and gives Egon a big, sloppy kiss.

SLIMER
(as he enters)
Egon!
(KISSING SOUNDS)

ON PETER AND WINSTON

PETER
Sit down, Egon, we have some good news and some bad news.

EGON
(as he sits)
Bad news first.

WINSTON
You've been turned into a werechicken!

ON EGON

His glasses slip to the end of his nose as his eyes widen. He pushes them back up.

EGON
A werechicken?

ON RAY

He hurriedly thumbs through the TOBIN SPIRIT GUIDE.

RAY
(flipping through book)
Were-aardvarks ... were-bears ... werechickens!
(reads)
"The werechicken appears during the full moon. Anyone it bites will turn into another werechicken."
(he looks at Egon)
That egg Peter brought in, it hatched and ...

ON EGON

He rubs his rear.

EGON
(through above)
I remember the bite clearly. How long will I stay like this?

ON RAY, WINSTON and PETER

Looking at the Tobin Guide.

RAY
(looking in Tobin's Guide)
According to this, there is an antidote. But we've gotta move fast -- the eclipse only lasts three minutes!

INT. FIREHOUSE KITCHEN

Slimer scrambles through the cupboard, grabbing various bottles of stuff, and hands them to Winston who adds ingredients to mixing bowl and stirs while Ray reads from Tobin's Guide.

RAY
(reading through above)
"One tablespoon paprika, one clove of garlic, some parsley for color, cup of gelatin ..."

ANGLE ON WINDOW

Through it we see the eclipsed moon starting to emerge from shadow.

INT. LAB -- ANGLE ON EGON

His pupils look constricted and he's perspiring.

EGON
(weakly)
I don't feel well.

Peter steps INTO SHOT, puts arm around Egon's shoulders.

PETER
(through above)
Take it easy, Egon. You're gonna be fine.
(SHOUTS O.S.; worried)
Hurry it up, guys!

INT. KITCHEN -- ON WINSTON AND RAY

RAY
(reading hurriedly)
"And one tablespoon of chickenbane."

ON SLIMER

He rummages through shelves, then looks down at Ray.

SLIMER
(aghast)
No chickenbane!

ANOTHER ANGLE

Ray and winston exchange panicky looks.

RAY
Then we've gotta go with this! C'mon!

They run OUT with the mixing bowl of liquid. Slimer follows.

INT. LAB -- CLOSE ON EGON'S LEGS

They're once again turning into chicken legs and chicken feet. Toes popping out like popcorn.

PETER (VO)
(YELLS)
Come on, Ray!!

WIDER ANGLE

As Peter and Egon stare down at the chicken legs and chicken feet.

PETER (CONT)
(YELLS o.s.)
He's changing again!

Ray, Slimer and Winston rush INTO SHOT.

RAY
(breathless)
Quick, Egon, drink this!

Winston hands the bowl of potion to Egon, who gulps it down.

EGON
(swallowing, GULPING sounds)

As Egon drinks, his arms transform into wings and he drops the bowl, breaking it.

WINSTON
We're too late!

CLOSER -- EGON

As the transformation and feathers rise up his shoulders. Suddenly, the transformation stops at the neck. DRAMATIC MUSIC STOPS, too.

ON PETER, RAY, WINSTON AND SLIMER

They stare, wide-eyed. After A BEAT --

PETER
What happened?

WIDER ANGLE

To include Egon, who is once again a six-foot-tall chicken, but with Egon's own neck and head.

RAY
The potion only partly worked, because of the missing chickenbane.

PETER
Well, we hafta do something!

EGON
Don't get your feathers ruffled, Peter. There's a logical solution to every problem.

BABY WERECHICKEN (VO)
(HOWL)

CLOSER ANGLE

Strands of slime stand straight up on the nape of Slimer's "neck" at the sound -- like a frightened cat -- and he dives into a test tube in a rack on Egon's workbench.

SLIMER
(SQUEALS as he goes)

ON RAY AND WINSTON

looking around.

WINSTON
What was that?

RAY
The werechicken that bit Egon. It's still out there somewhere.

ANOTHER ANGLE

PETER
(to others)
Let's stop that thing before it makes drumsticks out of anyone else!
(to Egon)
Un, no offense, Egon.

The three normal Ghostbusters dash toward door.

SMASH CUT TO:

EXT. -- AERIAL VIEW -- MANHATTAN -- NIGHT

ECTO-2 glides over the city, running lights blinking.

INT. -- ECTO-2 -- MOVING

Peter at the controls. Slimer sits beside him, looking down at the city through binoculars.

PETER
(into radio mike)
All quiet on the chicken front. How about down there?

INT. -- ECTO-1 -- MOVING

Winston driving. Ray on the radio.

RAY
Not a peep.

WINSTON
(gives Ray a dirty look)
No pun intended.

EXT. SUPERMARKET - NIGHT

Several people run out front door SCREAMING as ECTO-1 passes.

PEOPLE
(SCREAMING as they exit)

INT. -- ECTO-1 - MOVING

Winston and Ray look back at exiting people.

WINSTON
That's it!

Winston cranks the wheel.

EXT. ECTO-1

As it makes a SCREECHING U-turn.

EXT. -- SUPERMARKET

Ecto-1 SKIDS up, doors open, and Ray and Winston leap out, blasters at the ready, running toward store entrance.

INT. -- SUPERMARKET

Ray and Winston run in and stop inside door beside a panicked BOX BOY who points o.s.

BOX BOY
(breathless)
It's in there! A big chicken! It's gotta be ten feet tall!

CLOSER ANGLE

Ray and Winston exchange glances.

WINSTON
Ten feet tall?

BOX BOY
(nods)
Maybe fifteen, I dunno. Big!
(he runs o.s.)
I'm outta here!

RAY
(to Winston)
Let's split up.

They run off in opposite directions, flanking the long aisles.

ON RAY

PAN WITH him as he cautiously moves along, aisle by aisle. At far end of aisles, Winston can be seen doing the same. The market is thrashed, spilled groceries everywhere.

ANOTHER ANGLE

As they reach the last aisle. No chicken. Ray joins Winston.

WINSTON
How could we lose a fifteen foot-tall chicken?

BUTCHER (VO)
(frightened SCREAM)

RAY
We didn't! Come on!

They hurry o.s.

INT. MEAT DEPT. -- ON BUTCHER

He's hiding under his butcher block, trembling. Ray and Winston run INTO SHOT. The Butcher looks up, eyes wide.

BUTCHER
A giant chicken just came through here -- it was thirty feet tall!

CLOSER ANGLE

WINSTON
Thirty feet tall?

ANOTHER ANGLE

The Butcher is pointing out open door. Beyond is a parking lot with a trail of crushed cars right down the middle.

BUTCHER (CONT)
Yeah! Look what it did to those cars!

Ray and Winston race out the door.

EXT. INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT - WIDE ON ECTO-2 FLYING -- NIGHT

The little chopper, lights blinking, skims low past three-and four-story buildings.

PETER (VO)
(into radio)
It's how big? Okay, Ray, I admit you were right about these Werechickens, ...

INT. ECTO-2 -- MOVING

Peter and Slimer, as before.

PETER (CONT)
... but I definitely don't buy them growing to the size of buildings.

SLIMER
(covers mouth, LAUGHTER
FIZZING through his closed,
flapping lips. "How absurd.")

Suddenly, the head of the Werechicken rears up INTO SHOT right in front of Ray and Slimer.

SLIMER
(SCREAMS)

WERECHICKEN
(deafening HOWL)

ECTO-2 is buffeted about by the howl as Peter jams the stick forward.

WIDER ON ECTO-2

It makes a steep, banking dive and gets the hell out of there, barely escaping the big Werechicken's beak that SNAPS shut on thin air just behind Ecto-2's retreating tail.

INT. -- ECTO-2 -- MOVING

Peter is shaken, but in control. Slimer is trembling like green Jell-O.

PETER
(into mike)
Ray, you were right! The chicken's here, and he's a walking high-rise!

INT. -- ECTO-1 -- NIGHT -- MOVING

RAY
(into radio)
On our way, Peter.

Winston floors it and he and Ray accelerate forward INTO CAMERA.

INT. BUNKROOM -- GHOSTBUSTERS HQ - MORNING

Egon is "perched" on the window sill, looking pensively out at the city, still a chicken from the neck down. A BEAT, then:

JANINE (VO)
(big SCREAM)

EGON
(startled CLUCK)

Startled, Egon flutters up off the sill, gravity takes over, and he lands on his feathered butt.

WIDER ANGLE

Revealing Janine standing frozen in the doorway, eyes wide with disbelief, hands to her cheeks.

JANINE
Egon! What happened?

EGON
It's a long story, Janine. Can you get my coat, please? I'm due at the weather board in
forty-five ...
(CLUCK)
... minutes.

ON JANINE

She stares at Egon, totally bewildered.

JANINE
But what ...?
(thinks better of asking)
Nevermind.

ANOTHER ANGLE

Janine takes a long yellow raincoat off a door hook and helps him into it. He's completely covered except for his head and feet.

JANINE
Are you sure you wanna go to a meeting
like -- this?

EGON
Trust me. I'm of sound mind at least.

ANGLE ON EGON

As he struts toward the door, we see his tail protruding through a slit in the back of coat. He EXITS, CLUCKING.

EGON
(CLUCKING as he goes)

CLOSE JANINE

Staring after him in disbelief.

EXT. MID-TOWN MANHATTAN -- ANGLE ON WERECHICKEN

It walks along stepping on cars, kicking over telephone poles, etc., a la Godzilla. The streets SHAKE. Panicky pedestrians flee the Werechicken's giant feet.

CROWD
(panicky WALLA)

INT. -- ECTO-2 -- MOVING

Peter and Slimer are following giant chicken.

PETER
(into radio)
It's heading down 34th toward the Empire State Building.

EXT. -- THE STREETS -- DAWN

Ecto-1 SPEEDS around a corner, SIREN blaring.

RAY (VO)
Check! We're almost there.

EXT. EMPIRE STATE BLDG. -- DAWN

Sun rises behind the werechicken as it approaches in distance. With each HOWL, the streets SHAKE.

WERECHICKEN (VO)
(HOWLS)

LOW ANGLE ON ECTO-1

Approaching CAMERA fast, it SCREECHES to a halt. Doors fly open. Ray and Winston LEAP out, open fire, their proton streams angling upward.

LOW ANGLE POV - WERECHICKEN

Moving toward them down the concrete canyon, flattening street lamps and power poles. Ecto-2 can be seen flying above and behind it. The proton streams are up toward it.

INT. ECTO-2

PETER
Take over, Slimer!

SLIMER
Roger!

Slimer grabs the control stick in both hands as Peter leans out to one side with his blaster and fires downward.

ANGLE ON WERECHICKEN

Caught in the three crossing streams. It FLAILS about, knocking over street lights and bashing in the sides of buildings, and lets out a deafening HOWL. A MONSTROUS SPIRIT emerges from its body and fills the screen like a transparent film.

WERECHICKEN
(enraged HOWLS)

ON RAY AND WINSTON

Ray tosses out the trap.

RAY
Let's reel him in!

WIDER ANGLE

As Ray, Winston and Peter's beams draw the Spirit toward the trap.

SPIRIT
(angry HOWLS)

CLOSER ON TRAP

Ray's boot stomps on trigger and trap springs open. As the Spirit comes into contact with the trap a small STORM ERUPTS around it. SPARKS and LIGHTNING BOLTS fly. A HURRICANE-like WIND BLOWS.

ON RAY AND WINSTON

Being buffeted by wind, struggling to hang onto their throwers as they continue firing. They have to SHOUT over the NOISE.

WINSTON
(loud)
Trap's full! Somebody forgot to empty it!

ON ECTO-2

The wind is really bouncing it around. Slimer has his hands full, while Peter continues shooting.

RAY
(YELLS)
Whose job was it?

RAY AND WINSTON

turn to each other.

RAY AND WINSTON
EGON'S!

CLOSE ON TRAP

Light FLASHES rapidly. Trap begins to shake and glow.

RAY (VO)
It's gonna blow!

LOW ANGLE -- ECTO-2

WINSTON (VO)
(over walkie-talkie)
Peter, get outa here!

It banks, gets the hell away.

RAY AND WINSTON

turn off their proton guns and are KNOCKED down by the released force as the freed Monstrous Spirit whooshes skyward. The STORM abruptly disappears, as if SUCKED up. The trap stops shaking and SNAPS shut.

ANGLE ON WERECHICKEN

As the Spirit POPS back into its body, JARRING it. Its chicken face contorts with new ANGER.

WERECHICKEN
(HOWLS)

WIDER ANGLE

It turns and starts up the side of the Empire State Building.

EXT. EMPIRE STATE BUILDING - MORNING

The werechicken is halfway to the top. PULL BACK to reveal Peter, Slimer, Winston and Ray standing in street looking up at him. Ecto-1 and 2 are behind them.

PETER
So how're we gonna, put that big bird on ice, guys'

RAY
(SNAPS finger)
Peter, that's not a bed idea! Chicken freezes at very low temperatures!

CLOSER ANGLE

WINSTON
Yeah, but how do you freeze a 50-foot chicken in August?

A BEAT, then the three guys look at each other.

RAY, WINSTON & PETER
Egon's weather balloon!

EXT. -- BUILDING ROOFTOP -- MORNING

Not far from the Empire State Building. Egon stands before a group of seated MEN and WOMEN -- THE WEATHER BOARD -- in his rain coat. To one side, the weather balloon hovers above them.

EGON
Distinguished members of the Weather
Board, my weather balloon has the clu-cluck-clu-capability --

ANGLE ON EGON

The top of the Empire State Building is visible behind him as he holds the small weather device control box in one winged hand.

EGON (CONT)
... of entering the upper atmosphere where clu-cluck-clu cloud formations occur.

ANGLE ON BOARD MEMBERS

They look at each other, puzzled.

BOARD
(puzzled MUTTERING WALLA)

RESUME ON EGON

EGON (VO)(CONT)
There, it can electronically alter weather cut-cut-cut-con-ditions to produce sun, rain,
or ...
(BAWK!)
... snow.

Ecto-2 ascends into view behind him and hovers, the chopper's rotors blowing Egon's raincoat up over his head, exposing the chicken body underneath.

ANGLE ON AUDIENCE

Their mouths drop open as they stare at Egon's chicken body.

BOARD MEMBERS
(excited WALLA)

ANGLE ON EGON

He pulls raincoat down off his face, holding it in place with one hand as he looks at audience with forced smile.

EGON
(to Board members)
I, er, can explain this, but --

Slimer flies INTO SHOT beside Egon and WHISPERS in his ear.

SLIMER
(WHISPERING MUTTERS)

EGON
What?

He looks around to where Slimer is pointing.

EGON'S POV

As the Werechicken climbs into view, scaling the upper stories of the Empire State Building.

WERECHICKEN
(distant SQUAWKS)

NEW ANGLE

The Weather Board members see the Werechicken and start to SCREAM.

WEATHER BOARD MEMBERS
(SCREAMING)

ON EGON

He JUMPS onto a rope ladder hanging from Ecto-2 and climbs inside. Slimer flies in right behind him and Ecto-2 rises up OUT OF SHOT.

INT. -- ECTO-2 -- MOVING

Egon settles into passenger seat. Slimer hovers behind them.

PETER
(loud over engine)
Egon, can we freeze that big chicken with your weather balloon?

EGON
(holds up wings)
Yes, but you'll have to work the controls.

PETER
(nods)
Piece of cake.

EXT. -- ECTO-2 -- MORNING

It banks off toward the Empire State Building as the Werechicken reaches the top of the spire.

ON WERECHICKEN

As it gets "comfortable" on the spire, fluffing its feathers. It begins to quiver (like Maude did earlier when she laid an egg).

WERECHICKEN
(hideous CROW)

ON RAY AND WINSTON

On street below, looking skyward through binoculars.

WINSTON
What's it doing?

RAY
It looks like it's about to lay an --

Winston puts a hand over Ray's mouth.

WINSTON
(with dread)
I don't want to hear it.

ANGLE ON WEATHER BALLOON

It rises from weather bureau rooftop, then drifts along horizontally, away from the Empire State Building. It stops, then begins to rise again. The sky darkens as the balloon rises into the clouds.

INT. ECTO-2 - MOVING

Peter, Egon, Slimer, as before. Peter operates the weather balloon control box while Slimer flies the chopper.

EGON
Okay, Peter, the balloon's in position. Turn the lever to the extreme left.

CLOSE UP ON WEATHER CONTROL BOX

Peter turns a lever.

ANGLE ON BALLOON

The balloon and surrounding clouds start to freeze, turning white and forming ice on them. Suddenly, snow starts to fall.

ON SLIMER

He sticks his tongue out and catches some snowflakes.

ANGLE ON WERECHICKEN

Blizzard-like snow pelts it. The chicken begins to stiffen and turn white with frost.

WERECHICKEN
(angry SQUAWKS)

ANGLE ON STREETS

Snow falls on Ray and Winston as they gaze skyward.

RAY AND WINSTON
They did it! All-right!!

They high-five each other.

WIPE TO:

EXT. FIREHOUSE -- NIGHT

A heavy snow continues to fall as CAMERA MOVES IN

MAUDE (VO)
(calls)
Anyone for dessert?

INT, FIREHOUSE - DINING AREA

Maude (back to normal) emerges from kitchen carrying a large, steaming bowl. Seated around the table are Egon (back to normal) Peter, Winston, Ray and Zeke. No Slimer. There are half-empty soup bowls in front of everyone and the diners all look full to the point of weariness -- except Slimer.

EGON
(raising hand)
You bet, Maude.

ON PETER

As he looks at bowl of soup Maude sets down.

PETER
Lemme guess -- more chickenbane soup!

ON EGON

spooning soup eagerly into his bowl.

EGON
I'm actually starting to like it.

ON MAUDE

MAUDE
No more werechicken problems for us, eh, Egon?
(CHUCKLES)

WERECHICKEN (VO)
(HOWL)

WIDER ANGLE

Everyone freezes and looks o.s.

WINSTON
Uh-oh.

RAY
It came from the lab!

The Ghostbusters burst from their chairs and run o.s.

INT. HALLWAY OUTSIDE LAB

As the Ghostbusters cautiously advance, blasters ready.

INT. LAB -- ON DOOR

It opens and the Ghostbusters peer in. Suddenly ...

WERECHICKEN (VO)
(another HOWL)

SWISH PAN to ...

A HUGE SHADOW on the lab wall, its head making a "pecking" motion like a werechicken. After a beat, PAN DOWN to reveal Slimer with a Walkman on his head, "pecking" his head to the rhythm of his music. Slimer HOWLS again ...

SLIMER
(HOWLS)

ON GHOSTBUSTERS

WINSTON
(big SIGH)
It's just Slimer groovin' to his new James Brown tape.

ON SLIMER

As he continues to groove to the music.

SLIMER
(a la James Brown)
I feel good!
I knew that I would
So good, so good, so good!
(big James Brown HOWL as we --)
(HOWLS)

ON GHOSTBUSTERS

Peter turns to the others in disgust.

PETER
(long-suffering)
Tell me, how do I get out of this chicken outfit?

FADE OUT

THE END


script copyright © 1988 Columbia Pictures Television
All rights reserved.