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Films > Ghostbusters II > Scripts
GHOSTBUSTERS II
Final Film Transcript
original script by Dan Aykroyd and Harold Ramis
transcribed by Adam Bertocci


Caption: "5 YEARS LATER".

New York City street
Pinkish-gray slime oozes out of a street crack. Wheels of a baby carriage trail through it. DANA BARRETT pushes the carriage along the street. Various New York people carry out unfriendly activites.

MAN WITH A TICKET
You can take this ticket. You can have this ticket and keep it! I'm not paying that ticket! You gotta do something!
METER MAID just laughs at him. BOY crashes into YOUNG WOMAN ON CRUTCHES and runs off.

BOY
Sorry, lady!

YOUNG WOMAN ON CRUTCHES
Jesus! Jerk! Would you watch where you're going?

LOVELORN LADY
He's only interested in my buns.
DANA approaches her building

FRANK
Then I want you to go downstairs to the cellar and check the water lines to the boiler. Check the pump. I want you to do that today, can you do that?

DANA
Frank? Would you mind giving me a hand with these, please?

FRANK
Hey, I ain't the doorman, Miss Barrett, I'm the building's superintendent.

DANA
giving him grocery bags to carry
You're also a human being.

FRANK
Okay, it's not my job, but what the hell, I'll do you a favor.

DANA
Listen, when are you going to get around to fixing the radiator in the baby's room? Though I asked you last week...
baby carriage rolls away

FRANK
Didn't I do that?

DANA
It's getting really cold in there-
notices carriage
I... I... I...

FRANK
Okay, well, it's no problem.
Carriage rolls away some more. DANA goes to it. It rolls away even faster. She runs.

DANA
Hey! Hey! Stop that carriage! Stop!

MOVING MAN #1
Whoa!

MOVING MAN #2

Get it!
carriage swerves to the right

DANA
running after it
That's my baby! Watch out! Oscar! Watch out! My God! Please, stop that carriage!
Carriage dodges a bike and a car. DANA jumps for it and misses. She gets up and keeps running. Carriage goes right into an intersection on First Avenue.
Oh!
Carriage stops suddenly, just before it's about to hit a bus. DANA runs into the street and picks up OSCAR BARRETT, holding him close to her.
Oscar... oh...
Fade to black. Mist swirls in, becoming the Ghostbusters II logo. Music: Ghostbusters. Fade to:

A street
A very dirty Ecto-1 drives through the city. Makes clunking noises as it turns a corner.

A building
Ecto-1 pulls up. DR. RAYMOND STANTZ and WINSTON ZEDDEMORE get out.

Inside the building
RAY and WINSTON are fully suited up.

RAY
How many of them are there?

BROWNSTONE MOTHER
Fourteen. They're in here. I hope you can handle it. It's been like a nightmare!

WINSTON
How big are they?

BROWNSTONE MOTHER
Four feet.

Birthday party
Kids are running around chaotically.

BROWNSTONE MOTHER
Hey, hey, listen up, listen up- look who's here!

RAY and WINSTON
coming in, greeting the kids
Hey, hi! How you doing, kids?
the kids boo

BROWNSTONE BOY #2
Aw, I thought it was gonna be He-Man.

UNGRATEFUL LITTLE YUPPIE LARVA
Yeah.

WINSTON
Hey, hey! I know! I know! Why don't we all sit down, and we'll have fun!

RAY
Yeah!

BROWNSTONE BOY #1
You know- you know, my dad says you guys are full of crap.

BROWNSTONE MOTHER
Jason, hush!

RAY
Well, some people have trouble believing in the paranormal.

BROWNSTONE BOY #1
No, he just says you guys are full of crap and that's why you went out of business.

RAY
to WINSTON
Song.
Music: Ghostbusters.

BROWNSTONE MOTHER
Come on, everybody!

RAY and WINSTON
singing along with the tape
If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call?!

UNGRATEFUL LITTLE YUPPIE LARVA
He-Man! He-Man! He-Man! He-Man!

RAY and WINSTON
still singing
If there's something weird, and it don't look good...

RAY
Wanna go get a beer?...

WINSTON
Yeah.

Outside the building

WINSTON
Bye.

RAY
Thank you! Call any time.

WINSTON
All right, that's it. I've had it, Ray. No more parties!

RAY
giving him money
Here's your share.

WINSTON
I'm tired of taking abuse from over-privileged nine-year-olds.

RAY
I know, Z, but we can't quit now. The holidays are coming up. It's our best season.

WINSTON
taking off RAY's party hat
Ray, man, face it, Ghostbusters doesn't exist. Years from now, those kids won't even remember who we are.

RAY
Ungrateful little yuppie larva! After all we did for this city.

WINSTON
Yeah. Conjured up a hundred-foot marshmallow man, blew the top three floors off an uptown high-rise, ended up getting sued by every state, county and city agency in New York.

RAY
Yeah. But what a ride.

Weaver Hall, Institute for Advanced Theoretical Research
DANA goes in.

Lab
DANA is telling her story to DR. EGON SPENGLER.

DANA
... went right out in the middle of traffic, and I started really running after it. And then it just suddenly stopped, right in the middle of the street.

EGON
Mm-hmm. And did anyone else see this happen?

DANA
Well, sure, hundreds of people. Egon, I didn't imagine this.

EGON
I'm not saying you did. It's just in science we always look for the simplest explanation.

SPENGLER'S ASSISTANT
We're ready, Dr. Spengler.

EGON
Good. We'll start with the negative calibration.

DANA
What are you working on, Egon?

EGON
I'm trying to determine whether human emotions actually affect the physical environment. It's a theory Ray and I had when we were still Ghostbusters.
ARGUING COUPLE is inside a room, yelling and being generally angry

DANA
Can they see us?

EGON
No. They think they're here for marriage counseling. We've kept them waiting for two and a half hours and I've been gradually increasing the temperature in the room. It's up to ninety-five degrees at the moment. Now my assistant is asking them if they'd mind waiting another half hour.
Man is very angry. Bangs his head against the wall. EGON is checking out his readings.
Oh, good. Very good. Very, very nice.

DANA
So, Egon, what do you think?

EGON
Excellent. Just excellent.
to his assistant
We'll do the happiness index next.

DANA
I mean, about the carriage.

EGON
Well, I'd like to bring Ray in on this, if you don't mind.

DANA
Sure! Whatever you think... but not Venkman.

EGON
Oh, no.

DANA
Do you ever see him?

EGON
Occasionally.

DANA
How is he these days?

EGON
Peter? Oh, he was borderline for a while. Then he crossed the border.

DANA
Does he ever mention me?

EGON
No.
runs a meter over her

DANA
Well, we didn't part on very good terms, and we sort of lost track of each other after I got married.

SPENGLER'S ASSISTANT
We're ready for the affection test.

EGON
Good, send in the puppy, please.
An adorable puppy is given to GIRL WITH PUPPY.

DANA
I thought of getting in touch with him after my marriage ended, but- aw. Isn't that sweet?
watches GIRL WITH PUPPY
I appreciate your doing this.

EGON
Try not to worry.

DANA
Here's my phone number- you'll call me?

EGON
Yes.

DANA
I'd rather you didn't mention any of this to Peter, if you don't mind.

EGON
No, I won't, I won't.

DANA
Thanks.
kisses him goodbye

EGON
to his assistant
Let's see what happens when we take away the puppy.

TV studio
DR. PETER VENKMAN is chatting with his two guests just before his show, "World of the Psychic with Dr. Peter Venkman", begins taping.

PETER
Hi! Welcome back to World of the Psychic. I'm Peter Venkman. I'm chatting with my guest, author, lecturer and psychic Milton Anglund. Milt, your new book is called "The End of the World". Now, can you tell us when it's gonna be or do we have to buy the book?

MILTON
Well, I predict that the world will end at the stroke of midnight on New Year's Eve.

PETER
This year?

MILTON
Mm-hmm.

PETER
Well, that's cutting it a little bit close, isn't it! I mean- just from a sales point of view! I mean, Your book is just coming out, you're not going to see any paperback sales for at least a year, it'll be at least another year before you know whether you've got that mini-series or movie of the week kind of possibilities- I mean, just devil's advocate, Miltie! Shouldn't you have said, "Hey, the world's gonna end in 1992!" or better yet, 1994!

MILTON
Dr. Venkman, Dr. Venkman, this is not some money-making scheme, all right! I have a strong psychic belief-
does psychic mumbo-jumbo with his finger and forehead
- that the world will end on New Year's Eve.

PETER
Well, for your sake I hope you're right, okay, but I think my other guest may disagree with you. Elaine, now you had another date in mind?

ELAINE
According to my source, the end of the world will be on February 14th in the year 2016.

PETER
Valentine's Day- bummer. Where'd you get your date, Elaine?

ELAINE
I received this information from an alien. As I told my husband: It was in the Paramus Holiday Inn. I having a drink at the bar, alone, and this alien approached me-
PETER stares off into space
- he started talking to me, he bought me a drink and then I think he must have used some kind of a ray or a mind control device, because he forced me to follow him to his room, and that's where he told me about the end of the world.

PETER
So your alien had a room at the Holiday Inn in Paramus?

ELAINE
It might have been a room on the spacecraft made up to look like a room at the Holiday Inn. I can't be sure about that, Peter.

PETER
getting up
Of course not. And that is the whole problem with aliens, is you just can't trust them. Occasionally you meet a nice one, Starman, E.T. But usually they turn out to be some kind of big lizard! That's all the time we've got for this week on World of the Psychic. Next week, though- (gimme Ira).
someone hands him a shaven cat
Hairless pets. Weird!
gives the cat back
Until then, this is Peter Venkman, saying:
pretends to send a psychic message- then laughs
See you then! Bye.

Backstage

PETER
Norman, where do you find these people? Weren't we supposed to have the telekinetic guy who bends the spoons?

NORMAN THE PRODUCER
He canceled. This is the best we could do on such short notice. Look, no respected psychic will come on the show! They think you're a fraud.

PETER
I am a fraud.
sees MAYOR
Mr. Mayor! Lenny! Lenny? It's Pete Venkman!
JACK HARDEMEYER pushes him away

HARDEMEYER
Can I help you?

PETER
Yeah, get your hand off me. Thank you! I'm an old friend of the mayor's. I wanted to say hello and give him a kiss.

HARDEMEYER
I'm Jack Hardemeyer. I'm the mayor's assistant. I know who you are, Dr. Venkman. I just don't see any ghosts anywhere.
pretends to look for ghosts

PETER
Well, that's why I wanted to talk to His Highness. See, we did a little job for the city a while back and got stiffed on the bill by some bureaucratic bookworm like yourself.

HARDEMEYER
Look, you stay away from the mayor. He's running for governor next fall and the last thing we need is for him to be associated with two-bit frauds and publicity hounds like you and your friends.
leaves

PETER
You know, I'm a voter!... Aren't you supposed to lie to me and kiss my butt?

Outside Manhattan Museum of Art
Big, imposing museum.

Restoration room
Painting of VIGO is being wheeled in. JANOSZ POHA watches it come in.

JANOSZ
All right, yes. Now I want you to put the Vigo in the arch. Into the arch, there.
speaks to other art restorers
Everything you are doing is bad. I want you to know this. - You be careful there. All right? - No one listens to me.
goes to DANA
Well, Dana! How are you doing? How's this Bonnington coming?

DANA
It's coming along fine. This mixture you gave me is working really well.

JANOSZ
Yes, well I make pretty good cocktails, don't I? Yes, you're doing really quite good work there.

DANA
Thank you.

JANOSZ
Think it won't be long before you can assist me in more important restorations.
pulls something out of her hair- she turns
Just a white thing, there.

DANA
Well, thank you, Dr. Poha-

JANOSZ
Janosz.

DANA
Janosz. I've enjoyed working here, but now that my baby's a little older I'm going to try to go back to the orchestra.

JANOSZ
Oh, I am sorry to hear that, that you will not be not here. Could I say goodbye, you know, maybe bring you to a brunch today?

DANA
Well, I can't today. I have an appointment- in fact, I'd better go!
starts to leave

JANOSZ
I don't understand this. You know, every day I say, "Well, can you do something?", you say "No, I can't do something"- do I have the bad breath or something?

DANA
Of course not.
leaves

JANOSZ
Well... I'll give you a rain check!
stands next to the VIGO painting
I think that she likes me. No, I do, I truly do...
VIGO's head bulges out of the painting

Ray's Occult Books
A bookstore.

Inside store
Lots of books.

EGON
This one's interesting, Ray. Berlin, 1939. A flower cart took off by itself. Rolled half a kilometer. Three hundred eyewitnesses.

RAY
to his customer
My best to the covent.
to EGON
Berlin, huh? You know, we should also check Duke University's mean averaging studies on controlled psychokinesis.

EGON
I pulled it.

PETER
entering
Ah, perhaps you could help me. I am looking for a love potion aerosol that I could spray on a certain Penthouse pet to obtain her total submission.

EGON
Hello, Venkman.

RAY
Hi, Pete, how's it going?

PETER
Hey, well, hi, Egon. How's school? Bet those science chicks really dig that large cranium of yours.

EGON
I think they're more interested in my epididemis.

RAY
Ray, let's close this place up so you can buy me a calzone.

EGON
Oh, I really can't do that right now, Pete. I'm working on something. But your book came in! "Magical Paths to Fortune and Power".

PETER
Thank you.

EGON
Good luck with that, Venkman.

PETER
Will you put this on my account, please?

RAY
Sure.

EGON
Ray, take a look at this.

RAY
Oh, yeah.

PETER
What are you guys working on?

RAY
Ah, well, we're just kind of-
EGON clears his throat
- checking something out for an old friend.

PETER
Neat! Who?

RAY
Ah-
phone rings
Ray's Occult. - 7:00 on weekdays, midnight on Saturdays. - Thank you.
hangs up

PETER
Who?

RAY
Who? Oh, just somebody we know.

PETER
Oh.
pulls RAY's ears

RAY
Aggh! Aggh!

PETER
Who?

RAY
I can't! No, no, no! No, I can't, I-

PETER
Yes you can, yes you can! Who?!

RAY
Nobody, nobody!

PETER

Can you tell me now?

RAY
Aggh! I can't, no, I-

PETER
Now?!

RAY
Aggh, aggh, Dana Barrett!

PETER
dropping him
My Dana Barrett?

DANA's apartment
DANA plays her cello. Knock on door.

DANA
I'll get it!
it is RAY and EGON

RAY
Hi, Dana.

DANA
Hi, Ray. How good to see you!
they hug
Thanks for coming.

RAY
Hey, no problem. Always glad to help- and hug!

EGON
Hello, Dana.

DANA
hugging him
Hi, Egon.

RAY
Nice place.

PETER
coming in through the door DANA is closing
Well, I know I'm just asking for the big hurt but I thought I'd give us one more chance.

RAY
He tortured me! He pulled my ears!

DANA
Hello, Peter.

PETER
trying to sound sexy
Hello, Dana.

DANA
to RAY and EGON
So, what would you like to do first?

EGON
We'd like to examine the baby first.

RAY
Yeah. And anything associated with the baby. Especially stuffed toys. Things with fabrics in them.

EGON
And we'd like to see the buggy.

DANA
All right. Can I put him over here?

RAY
And wherever he sleeps.

DANA
Yes.

EGON
pointing
This will be fine.

RAY
This okay?

EGON
Fine.

RAY
We'll have to lay him down flat.

DANA
to OSCAR
Okay, sweetheart, now they're gonna take a look at you.

EGON
A little precursory medical examination.

RAY
What do you say? Gamel and Pross Infant Acuity Test?

EGON
Sounds good, we'll finish off with an Apgar score.

DANA
It's nothing that's going to hurt him, right?

RAY and EGON
No!

EGON
No, I don't think so. He'll be fine.
DANA leaves them

RAY
You ever done this before?

EGON
On a chimp...
PETER is playing the cello like a guitar

PETER
So, whatever happened to Mr. Right, anyway? I heard he ditched you and ran off to Europe.

DANA
He didn't ditch me. We had some problems, and he got a very good job offer from an orchestra in London, and he took it.

PETER
So he ditched you.

RAY
to a tape recorder
Okay. Subject is a male Caucasian, approximately-

EGON
measuring
24 inches.

RAY
24 inches in length. Subject weighs approximately 18 pounds and is about eight months old. Ocular?

EGON
shining a light
Pupilary response normal.

RAY
Auditory?
they snap their fingers- OSCAR moves his head

EGON
Is normal.

RAY
Papillary reflex?
they tickle OSCAR

EGON
Appears to be ticklish.

RAY
Yes, baby ticklish.

PETER
You know, you'd have been better off marrying me.

DANA
You never asked me. And whenever I brought it up, you'd get drowsy and fall asleep.

PETER
You never got it, Dana. I'm a man! I'm sensitive! I need to feel loved! I need to be desired!

DANA
It was when you started introducing me as the old ball and chain. That's when I left.

PETER
Well, I may have a lot of personal problems but I'm a total professional when it comes to my job.
runs to EGON and speaks right into his stethoscope
Egon? What are we doing?

EGON
He seems be fine, Dana.

DANA
He's very healthy.

RAY
When he does sleep, where do you put him?

DANA
Right around here, I'll show you.

EGON
as he, RAY and DANA leave
Venkman? Get a stool specimen.

PETER
Business or personal?

OSCAR's room

DANA
It's a little messy.

RAY
Well, we don't wanna play with anything, we just want to sweep for valances.

EGON
Hmm. Very cheerful. My parents didn't believe in toys.

The main room

PETER
You wanna play with a big kid? - You know, I should have been your father. I mean, I could have been.
shakes OSCAR's hand
I understand.
picks OSCAR up, whistling 'Dixie'- OSCAR bites him playfully on the nose
Help, he's gone completely berserk! Help!

OSCAR's room

RAY and EGON
Uh-oh.
DANA leaves

RAY
You mean, you never even had a Slinky?

EGON
We had part of a Slinky. But I straightened it.

Main room

PETER
to DANA
He had some sort of a clear liquid coming out of his mouth, too.

DANA
Yes, well, that happens. Well, what do you think?

PETER
Well, he's ugly. I mean, he's not Elephant Man ugly, but he's not attractive. Was his father ugly?

DANA
to OSCAR
Don't listen.

PETER
And he stinks. You're right, Señor! Did his father stink? Yeah? Daddy was a smelly? Huh? What's your name?

DANA
His name is Oscar.

PETER
Oh! Named after a hot dog! You poor man! You poor, poor man!

DANA
Oh, but seriously- there's nothing unusual about him, is there?

PETER
Well, I don't have a lot of experience with babies. But you're excited now, because Mama's here to get you a stool sample! Right Mama?

DANA
Stool sample?!

PETER
Yeah...

OSCAR's room

RAY
Nothing!

PETER
So what, braniac?

EGON
I'd like to do some gynelogical tests on the mother.

PETER
Who wouldn't?

EGON
Let's check the street.

First Avenue

DANA
It stopped right over there! In the middle of the crosswalk!

PETER
All right, I can handle this.
runs into the middle of the street

RAY
Hey, Venkman, hold on.

PETER
We're scientists! Excuse us! Get out of the way! Thanks a lot, we've got work for you here. Thanks! Appreciate it. Thanks a lot.

TAXI DRIVER
You gonna get out of there or what?

PETER
Relax! You're on the meter! Come on, hey! We're scientists! Get out of the way!
RAY and EGON use meters

RAY
Whoa-ho-ho! I think we hit the honey pot! There's something brewing under the street. I've got 1118 on the PKE!

EGON
2.5 GEVs on the Giga-meter.

DANA
Well, what does that mean?

Same place, at night
EGON, dressed as a road worker, drills.

FIRST COP
Hey! How ya doing?

EGON
Me?

FIRST COP
Yeah.

EGON
Fine, fine! It's cutting fine now!

FIRST COP
Great. Why are you cutting?

EGON
Why am I cutting?

FIRST COP
Yeah.

EGON
Boss!
PETER and RAY come to him

PETER
Who told you to stop cutting? Someone tell you to stop cutting?
to the FIRST COP
Did you tell him to stop cutting?

FIRST COP
Yes, I told him to stop cutting. What are you doing?

PETER
What does it look like we're doing? Why don't you let us work? We let you work!

RAY
Take it easy. He's been working overtime. I'll tell you why we're here, we're here because some diaper back downtown is being a jerk and making us work on a Friday night. Am I right, Peter?

PETER
Of course you're right, Raymond. Is he right, Ziggy?

EGON
Yo!
they all giggle

FIRST COP
All right, take it easy, all right?
drives away

RAY
What have you been doing?

EGON
What have I been doing? While you're getting coffee for an hour? I've been digging a big hole in the middle of the street!

RAY
Wow! Looks like you've uncovered an old airshaft! It just goes on and on!

EGON
It's very intense. We should get a deeper reading.

RAY
Yeah, we're gonna need a deeper reading.

EGON
Yeah, somebody has to go down there.

RAY
Yeah, somebody's gotta go down there.
PETER and EGON stare at him

Manhattan Museum of Art
JANOSZ works on the painting. It fires orange lightning bolts at him. He screams and falls off the ladder. The painting changes to reveal a floating head.

VIGO
Listen to me!

JANOSZ
What?! Who?!

VIGO
I, Vigo, the Scourge of Carpathia, the Sorrow of Moldavia, command you.

JANOSZ
Oh! Command me, lord!

VIGO
On a mountain of skulls in the castle of pain I sat on a throne of blood. What was will be! What is will be no more! Now is the season of evil...

JANOSZ
Evil?

VIGO
Find me a child that I might live again!
turns to a painting again

JANOSZ
Yes! A child! A child!... A child?
the lightning blast him again, this time in the eyes
A child!...

First Avenue

PETER
You all right?

Underground
RAY is being lowered on a wire.

RAY
Yeah, I'm good. Speed's good, boys. Keep it coming. We're breaking through, I see some light. I'm in some kind of a chamber. There's tilework- SLIME!!!

PETER
What?

RAY
It's a river of slime! There's gotta be 25,000 gallons of it! It's flowing through here like a river! Van Horne! Pneumatic transit. I can't believe it! It's the old pneumatic transit system! It's still here! Okay! Whoa, whoa! That's good! Hold me up! Hold me up! That's good!

First Avenue

PETER
What do you see?
police car drives up

River of slime

RAY
All right, let's see if I can get a sample.

First Avenue

FIRST COP
What's going on here? Hey! What's the story?

PETER
Hey, what, you boneheads are gonna roust me out again? I've got three thousand phones out on Greenwich Village! I got about eight million miles of cable I gotta check! You gonna come and shake my monkey tree again?

FIRST COP
What are you talking about, buddy? The phone lines are over there!

PETER
What'd I say to you?!
whacks EGON over the head angrily
The phone lines are over there! What'd I say? How many times?!

FIRST COP
Hey! Hey! Hey! You're not with Con Ed or the phone company. We checked. So tell me another one.

PETER
I got a major gas leak here!
points to some steam
Where do you think all this is coming from? The sky?

River of slime
Claws are grabbing RAY.

RAY
Uh, okay, boys? Boys? Pick me up now. All right, there's some kind of tyranny going on with this stuff. Boys? Hey, help! Pick me up!

First Avenue

PETER
Hey! Start! Start!
they pull him up

Underground

RAY
Boys? Hey, what's going on up there? Come on! Get me out of this hole! Aggh!
a pipe crashes into a power wire

First Avenue
Everything goes dark.

New York City
The whole city gets dark.

DANA's apartment building

DANA
to OSCAR
Hello, sweetheart. Hello. Go back to sleep, darling...
knock on door
Who is it?

JANOSZ
It's Janosz!

DANA
Janosz... Hello, Janosz!
opens door
This is a surprise.

JANOSZ
Ah, hello. Yes, well, I happened to be here in this neighborhood, and I thought that I would stop by to see how is it with you. You know, because of all this blackness.

DANA
We're fine, thank you.

JANOSZ
Well, then you're okay. And how is the baby?

DANA
He's okay.

JANOSZ
to OSCAR
Woo-ooh!

DANA
He's sleeping.

JANOSZ
Oh, but I woo!

DANA
It's okay.

JANOSZ
Do you need anything, you know? You want me to come in?

DANA
No, thank you.

JANOSZ
Ah, well. just thought that I would check. You know. Well, hey, you; don't let the bedbugs bite.

DANA
Good night, Janosz.
Closes and locks door. Lights flash from JANOSZ's eyes.

Outside courthouse
Morning.

JUDGE
Before we begin this trial I want to one thing very clear. The law does not recognize the existence of ghosts. I don't believe in them either. Don't wanna hear a lot of malarkey about goblins and spooks and demons. We're gonna stick to the facts in this case and leave the ghost stories to the kiddies, understood?

WINSTON
Wow. Sounds like a pretty open-minded guy.

EGON
Yeah, they call him The Hammer.

RAY
What can we do? It's all in the hands of our lawyer now.
LOUIS TULLY, with lots of books, enters.

LOUIS
I think you guys are making a big mistake. I mostly do tax laws and probate stuff occasionally. I got my law degree at night school!

RAY
Well, that's fine, Louis. We got arrested at night.
puts his head on the desk

HARDEMEYER
to the PROSECUTOR
Look, just put these guys away fast and make sure they go away for a long, long time, okay?

PROSECUTOR
I don't think it's gonna be hard with this list of charges.

HARDEMEYER
Good. Very good.
to PETER
Violating a judicial restraining order, willful destruction of public property, fraud, malicious mischief- see you in a couple of years, at your first parole hearing.

PETER
You'll never take us alive!

JUDGE
All right, all right, let's get on with it.

Opening remarks.

LOUIS
Your Honor, ladies and gentlemen of the- of the audience. I don't think it's fair to call my clients frauds! Okay, so the blackout was a big problem for everybody, okay? I was stuck in an elevator for two hours and I had to make the whole time. But I don't blame them! Because one time I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you.

EGON
Very good, Louis. Short but pointless.

PROSECUTOR examining CON ED SUPERVISOR.

PROSECUTOR
Mr. Fianella, please look at Exhibits A through F on the table over here. Do you recognize this equipment?

CON ED SUPERVISOR
Yeah. That's the stuff the cops took from their truck.

PROSECUTOR
Do you know what this equipment is used for?

CON ED SUPERVISOR
I don't know... catching ghosts, maybe? I dunno.

PROSECUTOR
May I remind the court that the defendants are under a judicial restraining order that strictly forbids them from performing services as paranormal investigators or eliminators.

JUDGE
So done.

PROSECUTOR
handing him a jar of slime
Now, Mr. Fianella- can you identify the substance in this jar marked Exhibit F?

CON ED SUPERVISOR
Yeah, that's the stuff, all right. Your Honor, I've been working underground for Con Ed for twenty-seven years. I never saw anything like this in my life. Whatever's down there, they must have put it there.

RAY
No, we didn't!

JUDGE
Shut up!
Bangs his gavel. The slime bubbles.

LOUIS examining PETER. PETER is feeding LOUIS words.

LOUIS
So you were just trying to help out a friend, who was scared of what was happening to her, when you're scared, there was no evil intended, no malice, because you live here and when you live in a place and you love it like you do you don't want nothing bad to happen, because it'll never happen again, it's an isolated incident, it's a one shot deal-

PROSECUTOR
Objection, Your Honor!

LOUIS
What!

PROSECUTOR
He's leading the witness.

JUDGE
Sustained!

LOUIS
Give me a break, we're both lawyers...

JUDGE
Mr. Tully, do you have any questions for this witness that might have some bearing on this case?

LOUIS
Do I?

PETER
No, we've helped them out enough already.

LOUIS
No, Your Honor.
to PROSECUTOR
Your witness.

PROSECUTOR
Dr. Venkman, would you please tell the court why it is that you and your co-defendants took it upon yourselves to dig a very big hole in the middle of First Avenue?

PETER
Well, there are so many holes in First Avenue, we really didn't think anyone would notice.
laughter

JUDGE
Keep that up, mister, I'll find you in contempt.
slime bubbles

PETER
I'm truly sorry, Your Honor.

PROSECUTOR
I'll ask you again, Dr. Venkman, why were you digging the hole? And please remember you're under oath.

PETER
There are some things in this world that go way beyond human understanding. Things that cannot be explained. Things that some don't even want to know about! That is where we come in.
RAY and EGON nod

PROSECUTOR
So what you're saying is that the world of the supernatural is your exclusive province?

PETER
Kitten, I think that what I'm saying is that: sometimes, shit happens, someone has to deal with it, and who ya gonna call?
cheers

JUDGE
banging the gavel
Shut up!

Judgement.

JUDGE
Peter Venkman, Raymond Stantz, Egon Spengler, stand up. Get up! You too, Mr. Tully.
they stand
I find you guilty on all charges! I order you to pay fines in the amount of $25,000 each!
the slime bubbles- RAY sees it
I sentence you to eighteen months in the city correctional facility at Rikers Island!

RAY
Iggy! She's twitching!

JUDGE
I'm not finished! On a more personal note, let just me go on record as saying that there is no place for fakes, charlatans-
they all notice except JUDGE

EGON
Uh, Your Honor?

JUDGE
Shut up!- and tricksters like you in decent society!

RAY
Your Honor!

PETER
Your Honor, this is important!
slime keeps bubbling

JUDGE
You prey upon the gullibility of innocent people!

RAY
Yes, sir.

JUDGE
Be quiet!

RAY
But-

JUDGE
And believe me, if my hands were not tied by the unalterable fetters of the law! And I would indulge in the tradition of our illustrious forbears...
PETER, RAY, EGON and LOUIS hide under the table
... reach back, to a purer, sterner justice, and have you burned at the stake!
Explosion. The Scoleri brothers leap out of the slime.

RAY
Wow!

JUDGE
Oh my God, the Scoleri brothers!
they attack him- he runs under the table
Scoleri brothers!

RAY
Friends of yours?

JUDGE
I tried them for murder! Gave them the chair! You gotta do something!

EGON
Why don't you tell them you don't believe in ghosts?
the Scoleri brothers throw the table away- the five run

JUDGE
You gotta do something! Help me!

RAY
Don't talk to me, talk to my attorney.

LOUIS
And that's me! My guys are still under a judicial mistrangement order! That blue thing I got from her! They could be exposing themselves!

PETER
And you don't want us exposing ourselves.
the Scoleri brothers throw the PROSECUTOR out the door

JUDGE
Aggh...

PETER
You're next, bubbles.

JUDGE
All right, all right! I rescind the order! Case dismissed!

LOUIS
Hooray, we won the case!

JUDGE
Now do something!

The Ghostbusters suit up.

PETER
Oh... oh, I always hated this part of the business. You know, it's been a couple of years since we used this stuff. I hope it still works.

EGON
It should. The power cells have a half-life of five thousand years.

RAY
Well, there's no time for a bench test! Heat Ôem up!

PETER
charging his pack
Doe...

RAY
charging his pack
Ray...

EGON
charging his pack
Egon!...
chairs bounce around

RAY
Wow!
The three open fire and miss. The Scoleri brothers fly away. They all laugh. Then the Scoleri brothers come back. PETER fires and gets one.

PETER
Come on big boy! Let's go! Let's go! I'm gonna take you home to my private zoo!

RAY
You got him! You got him! Spengie, bring out the trap!

EGON
Behind you, Ray!
RAY fires and gets the other one

RAY
Keep pulling to the right!

EGON
OK, trap's going out.

RAY
No, no, no, Venkie!

EGON
Hold it, Ray!

RAY
Hit it!
EGON closes the trap and the ghosts go in

RAY
Two in the box!

PETER
Ready to go!

EGON
We be fast...

PETER, RAY and EGON
... and they be slow!

LOUIS
Wow!

Outside

PETER
We're the best, we're the beautiful, we're the only- Ghostbusters.

RAY
And we're back!

Ghostbusters HQ
Phone rings. JANINE MELNITZ answers.

JANINE
Ghostbusters. - Yes, we're back.

A street
PETER, RAY, EGON and WINSTON run down the street.

Outside Ghostbusters HQ
A workman puts the new Ghostbusters II sign up.
Ecto-1A drives off.

LOUIS
We accept certified check, cash or money order!

A street
Night. Ecto-1A turns a corner.

Another street
Day. The Ghostbusters come out of a store with Santa hats on.

Steps
RAY and EGON scoop some slime up.

Central Park
A ghost jogger runs by. PETER traps him as he runs.

PETER
Bye-bye!

TV ad in HARDEMEYER's office
Ghost swings by. JANINE screams.

LOUIS
What is it, honey?

JANINE
It's that darn ghost again! He just won't leave us alone! I guess we're just going to have to move!

LOUIS
picking up the phone
No, wait! Don't worry! We're not moving, he is!

JANINE
Who are you going to call?
Ghostbusters appear

PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON
Ghostbusters!
HARDEMEYER, watching the ad, groans

Ghostbusters HQ
The Ghostbusters slide down the pole.

A street
RAy is driving Ecto-1A way too quickly. He is shouting something. PETER and EGON both look at each other, worried.

Outside Orrefors
The Ghostbusters run in.

Store
A setup of many traps firing beams malfunctions and brings a lot of fine crystal coming down to the ground. Crash.

Ghostbusters HQ
Slimer is eating something in LOUIS's lucnh box very messily.

LOUIS
Janine, lunch! Boy, it smells like somebody took a big-
sees SLIMER- they both scream and run away

Phone booth
RAY and EGON scoop up some slime.

A highway
Ecto-1A drives along.

A street
The Ghostbusters come to Ecto-1A.

TV ad in DANA's apartment
DANA is watching, feeding OSCAR.

WINSTON
...with our special half-price service plan.

PETER
What! Hold on- half-price? Have we all gone mad?

RAY
I guess so, Pete, because that's not all. Tell them, Egon!

EGON
Oh, you mean the Ghostbusters hot beverage thermal mug and free balloons for the kids?
Caption: "LIMIT ONE PER FAMILY"
DANA laughs

Lab in Ghostbusters HQ
RAY takes some slime out of the microwave.

RAY
We've been experimenting with the plasm we found in the subway tunnel. Careful.

PETER
Should I get spoons?

EGON
Don't bother. Watch this. Go ahead, Ray.

RAY
You! You worthless piece of slime! You ignorant, disgusting blob!
as RAY and EGON yell at the slime it bubbles angrily

EGON
You're nothing but an unstable, short-chain molecule!

RAY
You foul, obnoxious mob!

EGON

You have a weak electrochemical bond!

RAY
I have seen some disgusting crud in my time, but you take the cake!
WINSTON stops RAY

PETER
This is what you do with your spare time.

RAY
Peter, this is an incredible breakthrough. I mean, what a discovery! A psychoreactive substance! Whatever this stuff is, it responds to human emotional states.

PETER
Mood slime.
to slime
Oh, baby...
it bubbles

WINSTON
You mean this stuff actually feeds on bad vibes.

RAY
Like a cop in a donut factory.

EGON
We've been running tests to see if we can get an equally strong positive reaction.

PETER
What kind of tests?

RAY
Well, we sing to it, and we talk to it, and say supportive, nurturing things to it...

PETER
You're not sleeping with it, are you, Ray?
uncomfortable silence
Oh, you!

WINSTON
It's always the quiet ones.

PETER
You hound!

EGON
changing the subject
How about the kinetic test?

RAY
Okay.

EGON
putting an ordinary household toaster on pool table
Ordinary household toaster.

PETER
I'll take your word for that.

RAY
putting slime in it
It responds to music, so we've been doing some experimentation. Playing easy listening. Middle-of-the-road type stuff. You know, Paul Young, Dust In The Wind, that works okay.

PETER
It works for me.

EGON
It loves Jackie Wilson.
Music: "(Your Love Has Lifted Me) Higher and Higher'

PETER
Sheesh! You guys do this at night when I'm not here? Oh, I get it, it sings! It sounds exactly like Jackie, that's fantastic.

EGON
Just watch.

PETER
Does it do Emmy Lou Harris?
toaster jumps
Oh, it dances too.
toaster keeps dancing

RAY
Shake it up!
toaster spits out toast- music goes off

PETER
hugging toaster
Oh! Oh, oh baby, oh, you're my number one Christmas boutique gift item!

WINSTON
Right, and the first time somebody gets mad the toaster could eat their hand.

PETER
No, no, no, no, we put a warning label on it, we don't have any liability- aggh! Ow! Oh!
EGON gets the toaster off his hand
Oh! Oh, did you ever go for it. The old man-eating-toaster gig!
RAY screams

Manhattan Museum of Art
People go in and out.

Inside MMA

PETER
Hello. I'm looking for Dana Barrett.

RUDY THE MUSEUM GUARD
Room 304, restoration.

PETER
Thank you.

RUDY THE MUSEUM GUARD
Dr. Venkman? World of the Psychic?

PETER
Yes!
they shake hands
That's right. How ya doing?

RUDY THE MUSEUM GUARD
I'm a big, big fan of yours!

PETER
Thank you very much. Thank you.

RUDY THE MUSEUM GUARD
It used to be one of my two favorite shows.

PETER
You're kidding me. Oh, great. What was the other one?

RUDY THE MUSEUM GUARD
Bass Masters. It's a fishing show.

PETER
Yeah, I know Bass Masters. Sure.

Restoration room
VIGO smiles at DANA. It freaks her out. PETER enters. He sees her retouching a painting.

PETER
You're good- pretty eyes.

DANA
I didn't paint it. I'm just cleaning it. It's a Gocan.

PETER
Oh, I've heard of him.

JANOSZ
Well, Dana, aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?

DANA
Sure. Peter Venkman, this is Dr. Janosz Poha, the head of our department.

JANOSZ
touching PETER's hand
Yes, I have of course seen you on the television. Quite enjoy. Not here on business, I hope.

PETER
Well, it's top secret.
sees VIGO
Say, Johnny! You've got a Gocan too!

JANOSZ
No, actually, I am preparing this portrait for our new Romantic exhibition. Yes. This is Prince Vigo, the ruler of Carpathian Moldavia.

PETER
imitating VIGO's pose
Bit of a sissy, isn't he?

JANOSZ
He was a very powerful magician, Dr. Venkman, and a genius in many ways.

DANA
He was also a lunatic and a genocidal madman. I hate this painting. I've felt uncomfortable ever since it came up from storage.

PETER
Well, you're probably feeling what Vigo's feeling. Carpathian kitten loss! He's missed his kitten!
grabs some paint
We'll just put one in here by the castle.

JANOSZ
getting in front
No, don't go around altering my life's work, Dr. Venkman. Go. Yes, I think, go. Yes. The joyfulness is over!

DANA
He's kidding...

PETER
Well, you're not gonna get a green card with that attitude, pal, okay!
walks away- turns to DANA
Oh of course, of course, I get it! You're sweet on this hunky stud, aren't you!

DANA
You know, Peter, every now and then I get the feeling that painting is watching me. Even smiling at me.

DANA's apartment
Bathroom. DANA is bringing OSCAR in.

DANA
You know, I think we got more food on your shirt than we did in your mouth.
runs some water
Bath... yes, bath. It's your favorite thing. Bath. It's your favorite thing! It's your favorite thing! Because I know what you get to do. You know what you get to do? You know what's more fun than anything? Huh? Splash Mommy. "I get to splash Mommy!" Yes!
Undresses him- tickles him with some weird stomach-sucking thing. The water has stopped running and instead, slime is coming out.
Now to get ready for this, Mommy's going to take her shirt off too...
Takes off shirt- picks OSCAR up. Turns around. The mass of pink slime reaches for OSCAR and attacks. She screams and runs.

PETER's apartment
PETER is asleep on couch. Pounding on door. OSCAR is screaming.

DANA
Peter, it's me! Please! Let us in!

PETER
getting up
What the hell is this?

DANA
Peter! Let us in, please!
he does so
I didn't know where else to go... the most awful thing happened. The bathtub, the bathtub was trying to eat Oscar! I was giving him a bath... there was all this pink ooze everywhere and it was reaching for him.
to OSCAR
I'm not gonna let it get you! I was so terrified!

PETER
Okay, you're all right, you're all right, okay? All right, you're all safe now, okay? Sit down, relax, okay? Sit down, I'll get you guys a shirt or something.
calls on the phone
Ray? Yeah, Dana's just come over to my place. Well, actually, her tub tried to eat her.

Lab at Ghostbusters HQ
Music plays to slime. RAY is on phone. He has wires connected to his head.

RAY
What? Are you serious? Well, that's great! - I mean, that's terrible, but it's great for what we were... - Yeah, I will. Sure, we'll get right on it.
hangs up
Spengler! Major slime-related psychokinetic event.

EGON
What happened?

RAY
Something came out of Dana's bathtub, tried to grab her and the baby.

EGON
Are they all right?

RAY
Yeah, well, she got out of there and went over to Venkman's.

EGON
Most interesting, Ray. Remember that painting Venkman mentioned? Well, I ran the name 'Vigo the Carpathian' through the Occult Reference-Net. Look what came up.
they read a computer screen

RAY
Ooh... Nice ugly history. Think there's a connection between this Vigo character and the-
slime bubbles
- slime?

EGON
Is the atomic weight of cobalt 58.9?

RAY
We'd better get over to Dana's apartment. I'd like to check out the bathtub.

EGON
It might be a good idea to go to the museum in the morning and get a look at that painting.

PETER's apartment

PETER
Ray's gonna go on over to your place and just take a look.

DANA
He is?

PETER
taking out a sweatshirt
Okay, I have been holding onto this for a long time, Oscar, I got this from a girl who got this from Joe Willie Namath. Okay? We don't know how, we don't want to know.
makes a diaper out of it
So I would appreciate it if you would not hose this thing down, you know, give it your own personal rinse. Thank you. It would be an excellent time for you to start practicing a thing we big guys call "self control". Get outta here. Oh, look at him, look at him, oh, look at this guy. Oh, he's a coconut, this guy. You're gonna be staying at Uncle Pete's until this thing blows over. This is your place now.

PETER's bedroom
He leaps onto the bed.

PETER
Hi. Come on in. This is my place.

DANA
So how are we going to handle the sleeping arrangements?

PETER
Well, what's best for me is if I lie on my side like this, and you spoon up beside me, your arm draped over me. If we do it the other way-
rolls over
- I get your hair caught in my throat and I choke in the night.

DANA
How about you on the sofa and me and the baby in the bed?

PETER
It's a way to go.

DANA
It's so late. I really ought to put him down.

PETER
May I?

DANA
Yeah, if you want to.

PETER
You're short, your belly button sticks out too far and you're a terrible burden on your poor mother!

Manhattan Museum of Art
PETER waits. Ecto-1A drives up.

PETER
You find anything at Dana's?

RAY
Nah, nothing but some mood slime residue around the bathtub. But I did get something on that Vigo character you mentioned. Found it in Leon Zundiger's "Magicians, Martyrs and Madmen". Dig that.

EGON
Vigo the Carpathian. Born 1505, died 1610.

PETER
A hundred and five years old. He hung in there, didn't he?

RAY
And he didn't die of old age, either. He was poisoned, stabbed, shot, hung, stretched, disemboweled, drawn and quartered.

PETER
Ouch.

WINSTON
I guess he wasn't too popular at the end.

EGON
No, not exactly a man of the people. Also known as Vigo the Cruel, Vigo the Torturer, Vigo the Despised and Vigo the Unholy.

PETER
Wasn't he also Vigo the Butch?

RAY
And dig this! There was a prophecy, just before his head died. His last words were: "Death is but a door, time is but a window. I'll be back!"

Restoration room
The Ghostbusters enter.

PETER
All right, suck in your guts, guys. We're the Ghostbusters.

JANOSZ
angrily
Go! Go, please, go, you, Dr. Venkman!

RAY
Who's this wiggler?

PETER
He's yours, Ray. Sic him!

RAY
to JANOSZ
Hi, Ray Stantz from the Ghostbusters. How are you? We're just doing a routine spook check.

PETER
giving JANOSZ his coat
Here, Johnny, hold this.

JANOSZ
Dr. Venkman! Dana is not here!

PETER
Yeah, we know that, Johnny.

JANOSZ
So why are you came?

PETER
We got a report there was a major creep in the area, we checked our list and you were right on the top. Johnny, where in the hell are you from, anyway?

JANOSZ
The Upper West Side...

EGON
The whole room's extremely hot, Peter.

WINSTON
seeing VIGO
Whoa. That's one ugly dude.

PETER
taking pictures
Oh, that's Vigo! Mr. Vigo! Vigs! Could you look this way, please!

JANOSZ
No! No, please no. No! No, Dr. Venkman!
stands in front of the painting
No photographs, please! Slides are available in the gift shop.
WINSTON pushes him away
Aggh!

PETER
Yeah, thanks.Thank you, Winston.
to VIGO, taking pictures
All right, you know what, give me angry, will you, will you give me angry. You've had a bad day, you're cranky. Good. Ooh, angrier. Angrier. I'm scared, you're scaring me, stop it. Good... good. Okay, walk for me, talk for me. Yeah. Okay, give me hot and sexy. Can you do it? You can. Oh, boy. Show me some teeth. Come on. Do the girls like you? Huh? The girls? Do the guys? I bet they both do. How about the animals? They like you?
RAY is looking at VIGO's eyes. The eyes turn red, then blue again. RAY stares in disbelief. His arm grows limp.
All right. More. That's right, you're big. You're big. Yeah. Yeah. All right, destroy me! Destroy me! Yeah! Destroy me! Destroy me! Yeah! Yeah!

EGON
Venkman? We need to talk.

PETER
to VIGO
I've worked with better, but not many. Thank you.
to JANOSZ, taking his coat
Thanks, Johnny.

WINSTON
to RAY
Hey, hey? You finished?

RAY
Yeah, I'm finished here.

WINSTON
Are you all right?

RAY
What?

WINSTON
I mean, you're not coming down with something?

RAY
Me?

PETER's apartment
PETER comes home.

PETER
Dana! Your prince! Oh, no... oh, no, oh, no! She cleaned!

DANA
coming out of the shower
Hi.

PETER
Hi.

DANA
Ssh... he's asleep. Come here. So what happened with my apartment?

PETER
Well, the guys spent the whole night there. They went through all your things, your personal stuff, they tried on some of your clothes, made a few long-distance phone calls, cleaned out the fridge...

DANA
Did they find anything?

PETER
They found a little bit of that pink slime.

DANA
Oh God. Well, what am I supposed to do now?

PETER
You are supposed to get dressed and get crazy with me on the streets of Manhattan tonight.

DANA
Peter, I don't think-

PETER
This is exactly what you need! I have got you a baby-sitter. The whole thing's wired.

DANA
Peter, I don't think we should go out on a date. You know, I can't leave Oscar in a strange place with a strange person.

PETER
Strange person? Janine Melnitz, from my staff!

DANA
Janine has experience baby-sitting?

PETER
gives her flowers
Here.

DANA
Thank you.

PETER
with a suitcase
I've also brought some things from your apartment. Some wardrobe choices, a couple of provocative ensembles in here- I'll leave it up to you.

DANA
Okay, but after dinner, don't put any of those old cheap moves on me.

PETER
No, no, no, no.

DANA
It's different.

PETER
I have all new cheap moves.

Bedroom

DANA
Hey, you! Hey, you! It looks like you're awake! You're awake, yes!

PETER
Yes, Oscar. You're gonna have the whole place to yourself tonight, pal! It's gonna be pretty neat! I got some Laurie Antinelli tapes if you wanna watch them. Dana, did you see some shirts here in the floor-bed area?

DANA
Yeah, I put them in the hamper.

PETER
I have a hamper?

DANA
Yeah, it's in the bathroom.

PETER
Neat!
takes out some clothes
Will you tell me next time you're going to do that, though, please?

DANA
Well, I thought they were dirty.

PETER
I have more than two grades of laundry, okay? There's not just clean and dirty. There are many subtle levels. Okay? See? You hang this outside the window for twenty minutes... it's perfectly fine.
leaves

DANA
Interesting role model for you, Oscar, huh?

Ghostbusters HQ
Exterior shot.

JANINE's desk

JANINE
into a phone
Well, they couldn't get to you until after the New Year. - Well, just don't go in there!
hangs up
Louis! I'm closing up!

Outside Ghostbusters HQ

LOUIS
Should I take the subway, or the surface roads, or what? It's kind of busy out.

JANINE
Well, I'm walking. Good night!

LOUIS
Well now, well, hang on now... Do you maybe wanna- no, no- do you wanna have something to eat with me?

JANINE
Yeah, I'd love that! But I promised Dr. Venkman I'd baby-sit for him. Want to baby-sit with me?

LOUIS
Okay, I would!

JANINE
Great. His place at eight- bye!
leaves

LOUIS
His place at eight, all right. Well, I can get his address from the W2...
cars honk at him

Photo lab at Ghostbusters HQ
RAY and EGON look at the pictures PETER took.

EGON
We were right, Ray. Multi-planar curliean eminations.

RAY
Yeah, well, here's your next month's cover of GQ. Check out the aura on this sucker! There's definitely a living presence there.

EGON
We should get a deeper look.

RAY
Why don't I run this wider shot through the spectronalizer?

EGON
Good, I'll try turning up the rengence.

RAY
So what do you think? Chinese?

EGON
How about Thai?

RAY
Nah, too spicy. Greek?

EGON
Mexican?

RAY
Pizza?

EGON
Thin or thick?

RAY
Chicago.
Picture comes out. EGON hangs it up. The floating head of VIGO is seen in the river of slime.

EGON
What the hell is that?

RAY
I know what it is. I've seen it before.

EGON
Where?

RAY
When you guys had me dangling like a worm on a hook a hundred feet below First Avenue. That's the river of slime.
door has locked itself- pictures catch on fire
Huh?
they run to the door- it is locked
We need a blanket or a hose or something! Why's this closed?

EGON
Winston!

RAY
Winston!

EGON
That way! That way!

RAY
What are we gonna do, stick our heads in the toilet?
WINSTON breaks the door down and puts out the fire

New York City
Night.

Outside PETER's apartment building

PETER
Taxi!
Ecto-1A drives up. RAY, EGON and WINSTON drive up. They wear sewer work suits.

RAY
Pete, it's great that you're here! We've got incredible news!

PETER
Wait. Can I have one try? All you can eat barbecue rib night at the Sizzler.

EGON
No, we analyzed the photos you took of Vigo. The spectrogram shows a river of slime flowing behind it.

RAY
The same one I saw underground. Now we're going to the subway and sewer system to see if we can trace the source of the flow.

EGON
Yeah, come on. Change your clothes. We'll wait for you.

WINSTON
Yeah. Egon thinks there might even be a tremendous breeding surge in the cockroach population.

DANA
Hi, boys. What's up?

RAY
Hi.

PETER
Dana, the guys are going down to the sewer to check for slime stuff. And Egon thinks there may be a huge surge in cockroach breeding. Want to blow off this dinner thing and go with them?

DANA
with a smile
Taxi!

PETER
Women! Huh?

Underground

WINSTON
Will you watch your step? I hate this.

RAY
According to this old transit map there should be an entrance anywhere along here somewhere.

EGON
with Giga-meter
I'm not getting anything yet.

WINSTON
Well, at least it's too dark to see the cockroaches.

RAY
Forget about cockroaches. It's the subway rats you gotta worry about. Big as beavers.

EGON
Yeah, some of them can go four, five kilo.

WINSTON
Hey, hey, enough, all right?

RAY
Listen to them, you hear them behind the walls. Scratching. There must be thousands of them!

WINSTON
Just shut up about the rats.

RAY
Okay, okay.
shouting
Hello?
echo: "Hello?"

EGON
Hey!
echo: "Hey!"

WINSTON
Hello!
no echo

GROWLING VOICE
Winston...

WINSTON
Okay, I'm outta here.
severed heads pop up everywhere

RAY, EGON, WINSTON
Aggh! Aggh!
heads vanish

WINSTON
They're gone.

EGON
Before we go any farther I think we should get our proton packs.

WINSTON
Good idea.
rumbling
What's that?

RAY
What's what?

WINSTON
Sounded like a train.
rumbling

RAY
Uh-uh. These lines have been abandoned for fifty years.

WINSTON
Oh.
rumbling

EGON
Probably in one of the tunnels above us.

WINSTON
I don't know. Sounds awfully close to me.
Rumbling, light, train whistle. Train comes down the tunnel. RAY and EGON jump away. WINSTON just stands there. Train goes right through him and goes away.
Aggh!

EGON
I think that was the old New York Central City Albany! Derailed in 1920! Killed hundreds of people! Did you catch the number on the locomotive?

WINSTON
Sorry. I missed it.

EGON
Something's trying to stop us. We must be close.

WINSTON
Where's Ray?
they call for RAY- no answer

RAY
Guys! I found it!

EGON
Where?

RAY
Right here, there's a hole.

WINSTON
Fellas, what about the packs? What about the packs?

Van Horne

EGON
Unbelievable.

RAY
What'd I tell you? I wasn't lying, was I?

EGON
Do you realize how much negative energy it must have taken to generate a flow this size?

WINSTON
Hey! New York, what a town.

EGON
Let's see how deep it is. Get a sounding.

WINSTON
Six feet. Twelve feet. Something's pulling it!

RAY
Hold on! Hold on to it! Help me!
RAY and EGON grab WINSTON- he is sucked into the river and floats away, screaming. RAY and EGON jump in to save him.

Restaurant

DANA
A toast to the most charming, kindest-

PETER
Oh, that's me!

DANA
That's you. - and most unusual guy I have ever broken up with.

PETER
Speaking of breaking up with neat guys, why did you dump me?

DANA
I didn't dump you. I was protecting myself. I mean, you weren't very good for me. You know that, don't you?

PETER
Heck, I'm not even good for me.

DANA
You're much better than you realize. You don't give yourself enough credit.

PETER
I need to hear that stuff. If I had this kind of support on a twenty-four-hours-a-day basis, I could have myself whipped into shape by the end of this century.

DANA
Why don't you give me a jingle in the year 2000?

PETER
Why don't I give you a jingle right now?
they kiss

PETER's apartment

LOUIS
to OSCAR
So the seven little dwarves had a limited partnership in a small mining operation, and one day a beautiful princess came to live with them, and they bartered housekeeping services for room and board. Which was a real good deal for them because they didn't have to withhold Social Security or income tax or nothing, which you're really not supposed to do, you see, but for the purposes of this story I think it's okay.
puts OSCAR in PETER's room

JANINE
It really is a great place. I mean, it needs a woman's touch. But I think it looks really good, you know-

LOUIS
Ssh. Bedtime.

JANINE
You're very good with children.

LOUIS
Thanks, I practiced on my hamster.

JANINE
Oh. So, you live alone?

LOUIS
I used to have a roommate, but my mom moved to Florida.

JANINE
Oh. Why don't you come over here and sit with me?

LOUIS
sits next to her
Okay. So, you wanna play Boggle or Super Mario Bros.?

JANINE
You know, I think motherhood's a very natural instinct. I'd like a child myself.
crosses her legs
Would you?

LOUIS
confused, nervous
Tonight?

Outside MMA
A manhole opens. RAY, EGON and WINSTON come out.

WINSTON
Nice going, Ray. What are you trying to do, drown me?

RAY
Oh, you say it more like it was my fault! But you were too stupid to drop that sounding line!

WINSTON
Stupid? Hey, you better watch your mouth or I'll put your lights out!

RAY
Oh yeah?

WINSTON
Yeah!

RAY
Well, any time!

WINSTON
Come on, come on!

RAY
It's go time, man!

WINSTON
I want you, bad!

EGON
Wait! Wait! Stop, stop! Get your clothes off!
they strip down to long underwear

WINSTON
Oh, Jesus, Ray. What were we doing? I was ready to kill you.

RAY
It's the stuff. It's like pure concentrated evil.

EGON
And it's all flowing right to this spot!

Restaurant
RAY, EGON and WINSTON enter, dripping in slime.

MAITRE'D'
You cannot come in here. Sirs? You cannot come in here!

RAY
We'll only be a minute.
they see PETER and DANA
Venkman!
shouting, chaos

MAITRE'D'
Gentlemen, will you leave this restaurant?!

PETER
Boys, boys! You're scaring the straights. Is there any way we can do this tomorrow?

EGON
No, no, this won't wait until tomorrow, Venkman. It's hot and it's ready to pop.

RAY
It's all over the city, Pete! Under it, actually.

WINSTON
Rivers of this stuff.

EGON
And it's all flowing right to the museum.

RAY
Yeah, the museum!
throws his hand in emphasis- gets slime all over the place

SLIMED RESTAURANT PATRON
Ugh! It got all over me. What is this stuff?

RAY
Sorry...

DANA
God, you mean my museum?

PETER
I was going to tell you between the dessert and the cheese course.

MAITRE'D'
to policemen
There they are!

PETER
You can never go back there again... You have to find a new job...
shouting, chaos

RAY
being led away
We gotta see the mayor!

Gracie Mansion
Police car drives up. Music: "On Our Own".

MAYOR'S DOORMAN
Whoa! Ghostbusters! Guys, come right this way. Say, you guys got an extra one of those proton packs? My kid brother really wants one.

EGON
The proton pack is not a toy.

RAY
I guess he's right.

PETER's apartment
DANA enters. LOUIS jumps off the couch.

LOUIS
Oh! Oh, Dana, we were just baby-sitting, honest, and we watched some TV and we had something to eat and one thing led to another, and-

DANA
That's okay, Louis.

LOUIS
I didn't know anything was gonna happen, really-

JANINE
adjusting her dress
Hi, Dana. How was your date?

DANA
Well, it wasn't a date. It was just dinner.

LOUIS
Where's Peter?

DANA
Oh, he was arrested.

JANINE
Typical.

DANA
Did he call?

LOUIS
No, nobody called.

DANA
How's Oscar? Is he all right?

JANINE
Oh, he's fine. Such a good baby! He was a little fussy at first, but we just gave him some French bread pizza. Passed right out.

DANA
Good, good. Well, I'll just give him a look-see.

LOUIS
So you think we should go?

JANINE
Gee, I don't know. I don't think we should leave her alone.

LOUIS
You're right. Let's stay.
jump on the couch

Gracie Mansion
MAYOR enters. The Ghostbusters greet him.

PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON
Lenny... big man!

MAYOR
Ghostbusters.

WINSTON
Mr. Mayor?
offers his hand- it is refused

MAYOR
What is this, a slumber party?
HARDEMEYER laughs. The Ghostbusters all talk at once.
Look, I don't wanna hear anything about it. You've got two minutes. Make it good.

RAY
Well, first of all, Mr. Mayor, it's a great pleasure to see you again, and we'd just like to say that almost 50% of us voted for you in the last election.

MAYOR
I appreciate that.

PETER
I'm just sorry we always have to meet under these circumstances.

RAY
Mr. Mayor, we are here tonight because a psychomagnotheric slime flow of immense proportions is building beneath the city.

MAYOR
Psycho-what?

EGON
Psychomagnotheric.

PETER
Big word. Big word.

EGON
Negative human emotions are materializing in the form of a viscous, psychoreactive plasm with explosive supernormal potential.

MAYOR
Does anybody speak English here?

WINSTON
Yeah. Your Honor, see, what we're trying to tell you is like, all the bad feelings, all the hate, the anger and vibes of this city is turning into the sludge! Now, I didn't believe it at first either, but we just went for a swim in it and we ended up almost killing each other!

HARDEMEYER
This is insane! I mean, do we really have to listen to this?

PETER
Can't you stop your lips from flapping for two little minutes?! Lenny, have you been out on the street lately? Do you know how weird it is out there? We've taken our own head count. There seem to be three million completely miserable assholes living in the tri-state area!

HARDEMEYER
Oh, please.

PETER
I beg your pardon. Three million and one.

HARDEMEYER
Hey!

RAY
And what budgie-brain here doesn't realize is that if we don't do something fast, this whole place is gonna blow like a frog on a hot plate.

HARDEMEYER
Yeah, right.

MAYOR
What am I supposed to do? Go on television and tell ten million people they have to be nice to each other? Being miserable and treating other people like dirt is every New Yorker's God-given right. Your two minutes are up! Good night, gentlemen.
leaves- they call to him- he leaves

PETER
Oh... the Times is gonna be interested in this... And you know the polls are gonna be down!

WINSTON
"Mayor Hides Slime"...

RAY
"Times Square Slime"?

EGON
Slime Square?

RAY
Yeah, Slime Square.

HARDEMEYER
Whoa, whoa, whoa! Fine, fine, fine. Now, before you go running off to the newspapers with this, would you consider telling this slime business to some of our people downtown?

PETER
It's gotta be done right away.

Parkview Hospital
The Ghostbusters are committed.

RAY
Vigo's gonna come back! The whole city's in danger! The whole state, the whole world! All we wanna do is help!

HARDEMEYER
to PSYCHIATRIST
The mayor wants them kept under strict observation for the next few days. We think they're seriously disturbed and potentially dangerous.

PSYCHIATRIST
Well, we'll do whatever's necessary.

HARDEMEYER
Thank you, doctor.

Manhattan Museum of Art
The room has become a shrine to VIGO. Circles of candles.

JANOSZ
I await the word, Vigo!

VIGO
I, Vigo, the Scourge of Carpathia-

JANOSZ
I know. You've told me this. The Scourge.

VIGO
- the sorrow of Moldavia-

JANOSZ
Sorrows. I've heard all of this, yes.

VIGO
- command you.

JANOSZ
Command me, lord.

VIGO
The season of evil begins with the birth of the new year.

JANOSZ
Good!

VIGO
Bring me the child that I might live again!

JANOSZ
Yes... Lord Vigo? I was wondering- this woman Dana is fine and strong. Now, if I was to bring the baby, could I have that woman?...

VIGO
So be it. On this day of darkness she will be ours. Wife to you and mother to me.

JANOSZ
jumps up and spins around
Yes! Thank you, lord! Thank you!

PETER's apartment
DANA, LOUIS and JANINE watch TV.

JANINE
Is, like, she the killer or what?

LOUIS
No. That's Rita Hayworth. She was married to Citizen Kane while they were doing this thing. Then right after they finished, she dumped him for some polo player. I don't why beautiful girls love horses so much. Do you love horses?

JANINE
No.

DANA
You know, you really don't have to stay. I'm sure Peter will be back soon.

LOUIS
Oh, we don't mind. Can you see okay?

DANA
Yep.
A window opens in PETER's room.
DANA feels wind- goes to check on OSCAR. He is not in bed.

Oscar? Oh!
She sees him on the ledge.
Oh God! Oscar! Louis! It's Oscar! Oscar...

LOUIS
seeing OSCAR on the ledge
Call 911 right now!
DANA crawls across the ledge to OSCAR. JANOSZ comes out of the sky, puts OSCAR in a baby carriage and flies away.

DANA
Oscar... oh, no... no, no, no... No!

LOUIS
That was a ghost!

DANA
No, no, that was Janosz. He took him...

JANINE
What's happening?

LOUIS
What should we do?

JANINE
Where's the baby?

DANA
The museum...
puts her coat on

LOUIS
Where are you going?

DANA
I've got to get my baby!
she leaves

LOUIS
We gotta find the guys.

Parkview Hospital

RAY
As I explained before, we think the spirit of a 16th century Moldavian tyrant is alive and well in a painting at the Manhattan Museum of Art.

PSYCHIATRIST
Mm-hmm. And are there any other paintings in the museum with bad spirits in them?

EGON
You're wasting valuable time! He's drawing strength from a psychomagnotheric slime flow that's been collecting under the city.

PSYCHIATRIST
Yes, tell me about the slime.

WINSTON
It's very potent stuff. We made a toaster dance with it.

PSYCHIATRIST
A toaster.

RAY
And a bathtub tried to eat his friend's baby.

PSYCHIATRIST
A bathtub?

PETER
Don't look at me, I think these people are completely nuts.

Van Horne
Slime flows.

Manhattan Museum of Art
DANA gets out of her taxi and goes in. Slime covers the building.

Restoration room
DANA runs to OSCAR. Takes him off the altar.

DANA
Oscar... sweetheart... oh, oh... I thought I'd lost you... never see you again... oh, baby.

JANOSZ
Hello, Dana. I thought that you might come.

DANA
You stay away from us, Janosz. I mean it.

JANOSZ
Oh, don't worry, he will not be harmed! He has been chosen to be the vessel of the spirit of Vigo! And you will be the mother of the ruler of the world!... Doesn't that sound nice?

DANA
No. It sounds ludicrous. You stay away from him. I mean it.

JANOSZ
Well, I don't think we have choice here. Take a look- it's not Gainsborough's 'Blue Boy', there. Heh, heh. He is Vigo!

DANA
I don't care who he is! You're not going to take my baby!
flies into a cage- OSCAR goes to the altar again
Oscar... Oh, you bastard!

River of slime
Flows.

Theater
A ghost chases people away.

A street
WOMAN WITH FUR COAT steps in slime. Fur coat comes alive and attacks. She throws it off. It runs down the street.

Victory Arch
Huge behemoth terrorizes the general public.

Police station

POLICEMAN
Was this a big dinosaur or a little dinosaur? - Ah, a skeleton.- Which way was it headed?

ANOTHER POLICEMAN
Wait a second. What was chasing you in the park? - The park bench was chasing you? - I see.

YET ANOTHER POLICEMAN
What? Wait a second. Lieutenant! I think you'd better talk to this guy.

POLICE LIEUTENANT
I'm busy here!

YET ANOTHER POLICEMAN
It's some dock supervisor down at Pier 34.

POLICE LIEUTENANT
What's the problem?!

YET ANOTHER POLICEMAN
He says the Titanic just arrived!

Pier 34
The Titanic has arrived.

DOCK SUPERVISOR
Well, better late than never.

City Hall

FIRE CHIEF
The Battery is swamped! We've had more than three thousand calls since midnight last night!

POLICE COMMISSIONER
We've had to remain in uniform on the streets, and I am still short-handed. We've had meter maids chasing ghosts all over midtown!

PUBLIC WORKS OFFICIAL
giving HARDEMEYER a diagram
There's this shell thing over the Manhattan Museum of Art. We can't make a dent!

HARDEMEYER
Have you tried dynamite?

PUBLIC WORKS OFFICIAL
We've tried everything.

MAYOR
entering
What the hell is going on? It's pandemonium out there!

HARDEMEYER
Yes, I know, we're working on it!

MAYOR
Great. While you're working on it I'm going down in history as the mayor who let New York get sucked down into the tenth level of hell. All right, we've got no choice. Call the Ghostbusters.

HARDEMEYER
Wait! Now, I'm sure there's another way.

MAYOR
Jack, I spent an hour last night in my bedroom talking to Fiorello LaGuardia and he's been dead for forty years. Now where are the Ghostbusters?

HARDEMEYER
Uh... they're not available.

MAYOR
What do you mean, they're not available?

HARDEMEYER
Well, I had them committed to the psychiatric ward at Parkview Hospital.

MAYOR
You what?!

HARDEMEYER
They were threatening to go to the press! I was protecting your interests!

MAYOR
Oh yeah?!

HARDEMEYER
Uh-huh!

MAYOR
Well, you can stop protecting my interests. You have exactly three minutes to clear out. You're fired!

HARDEMEYER
But the election! You're making a big mistake, Mr. Mayor!

MAYOR
Harry! Remove this man from the building. And get me the Ghostbusters!

MAYOR'S AIDE
Mr. Mayor? Mr. Mayor? Come take a look at this. Wow.
sky is filled with bolts of dark energy
Have you ever seen anything like that before?

MAYOR
Somebody get me the Ghostbusters.

Parkview Hospital
The Ghostbusters suit up.

LOUIS
And he took the baby into the carriage, and it levitated away!

PETER
What'd Dana do? Where'd she go?

LOUIS
I don't know. She said she was going to the museum to get the baby back! And there was an eclipse, and the whole town went dark, and everybody's nuts!

RAY
It all fits! Vigo wants in on the 21st century. He needs a human body to inhabit. Little Oscar must be it!

WINSTON
Yeah, and I bet we're the only ones who can do anything about it, right?

RAY
You bet we are!

Manhattan Museum of Art
Ecto-1 drives up. Museum is covered in a shell of slime. Cheering. Music: On Our Own.

RAY
Looks like a giant Jell-O mold.

WINSTON
I hate Jell-O.

PETER
Aw, come on! There's always room for Jell-O!

Restoration room

JANOSZ
Soon it will be midnight and the city will be mine and Vigo's. Well... mainly Vigo's. Oh, Dana, you and I have this terrific opportunity! To make the best of this relationship!

DANA
We don't have a relationship.

JANOSZ
I know!... Marry me, Dana. Together we will raise Vigo as our son! And let me tell you something here, there are many perks in being the mother of a living god. Sure we could get you a magnificent apartment, car, free parking...
opens her cage
Many marriages begin with a certain amount of distance. And I think that perhaps you and I could maybe learn to... love each other?

DANA
Yes, I could learn.

Outside

RAY
Pull 'em.

EGON
Full nutronas.
they charge their packs

RAY
Let's cook!
they blast, to no avail, and stop blasting
Save 'em!

PEOPLE IN CROWD
boos and hisses
C'mon!
Aw, c'mon Ghostbusters!

EGON
That slime mold is pulsing with evil. It would take a tremendous amount of positive energy to crack that shell and I seriously doubt there's enough goodwill left in this town to do it.

RAY
You know, I just can't believe things have gotten so bad in this city that there's no way back. I mean, sure, it's dirty, it's crowded, it's polluted, it's noisy and there's people all around who'd just as soon step on your face as look at you. But come on! There's got to be a few sparks of sweet humanity left in this burned-out burg and we just have to figure out a way to mobilize it.

EGON
He's right. We need something that everyone in this town can get behind, we need... a symbol!

RAY
Something that appeals to the best in each and every one of us.

EGON
Something good.

WINSTON
Something decent.

PETER
Something pure.
they are all looking at the...

Statue of Liberty

PETER
Kind of makes you wonder, doesn't it?

RAY
Wonder what?

PETER
Whether she's naked under that toga. She's French. You know that.

Inside Statue

EGON
Got it. Ready with the speakers, Ray. Slime blowers ready.

RAY
Internal audio, set. Internal electric, set.

WINSTON
Slime blower, prime, set.

PETER
to slime in slime blowers
Ooh. Good slime, good slime. Winston, is our slime in a good mood tonight?

WINSTON
I hope so. She's a lot bigger than a toaster.

EGON
It's all yours, Venkman.

PETER
Thank you. Testing, one, two, testing. Hey, how many of you people out here are a national monument, raise your hand, please. Oh, hello, miss!

WINSTON
Hey. Let's frost it.

RAY
It's slime time.
they blast slime all over the statue
Beautiful!

Crown

RAY
Pilot controls ready.

EGON
All right. It's getting late. It's almost midnight. Let's go, Venkman.

PETER
Here's something off the request line from Liberty Island. We're gonna squeeze some New Year's juice from ya, Big Apple!
Music: (Your Love Has Lifted Me) Higher and Higher.
Slime sparks. Statue's torch explodes. Lady Liberty walks.


RAY
Man, I can't wait to see people's faces when we come on shore! This should really get the city's positive energy flowing, huh, Venkie!

PETER
Keep kicking, Libby! You make this work, we'll pop for a weekend in Vegas with the Jolly Green Giant!

Ghostbusters HQ
JANINE helps LOUIS put on a Ghostbusters uniform.

JANINE
You look fantastic in this.

LOUIS
I was born to wear this stuff.
they kiss

Outside

LOUIS
Boy, this equipment's heavy.

Street
Statue walks down the street.

PETER
Yeah, New York!

RAY
Sing it out!

PETER
Your love... has lifted me higher!

WINSTON
Come on, you sing!

EGON
We're running out of time, Ray.

WINSTON
Can't you make her go any faster?

RAY
I'm afraid the vibrations would shake her to pieces. We should have padded her feet.

EGON
I don't think they make Nikes in her size, Ray.

PETER
Ah, don't worry, she's tough. She's a harbor chick!
statue crushes a police car

RAY
Sorry! My fault!

Another street
LOUIS runs down.

LOUIS
Happy New Year. Gotta stay fit, keep sharp, make good decisions.
sees a bus
Oh, good, oh, good, oh, good.
Slimer is the driver
Oh... it's you!
Slimer beckons him in
Okay... but I didn't know you had your license.

Manhattan Museum of Art

JANOSZ
Four minutes to go, and then... party times.
VIGO starts to possess OSCAR
It's happening! It's really happening!
sees the Statue of Liberty
No! Go away! Go away from here!

PETER
I love it when you rumble!

RAY, WINSTON
Go! Go!

EGON
Hit it with it all!
Statue smashes the skylight. JANOSZ runs. DANA grabs OSCAR. VIGO vanishes.

DANA
Oh, Oscar, look!
The Ghostbusters slide down ropes

JANOSZ
No! Go away! Do you know who this is?

PETER
Happy New Year.

JANOSZ
He is Vigo! You are like the buzzing of flies to him!
VIGO is gone- even from the painting

PETER
Oh, Johnny, did you back the wrong horse. Will you hose him, please?

RAY
Hose him!
RAY and WINSTON slime JANOSZ- he falls down

WINSTON
One down.

RAY
On the ground.

DANA
Boy, am I-
kisses PETER
- glad to see you.

PETER
hugging OSCAR
Oh, Oscar, Oscar!

DANA
seeing JANOSZ
Is he- dead?

RAY
Uh-uh. This slime is positively charged. He'll wake up feeling like a million bucks.

PETER
Whoa! This gentleman is a little bit ripe! That's all right, my friend, I think I had an accident, too.
wind- crash- a hose wraps around DANA

DANA
Get him away!

RAY
Get a knife or something! We gotta cut her out of this.

PETER
hiding OSCAR
Okay. All right, now listen. You gotta stay right here. Don't move. Uncle Pete's gotta go help your mom for a second. You just stay there and don't say anything.
VIGO appears

EGON
Uh-oh.

RAY
Hold it right there, deadhead! You want a baby, go ahead and knock up some willing hellhound. Otherwise I'm giving you to the count of three to get back in that painting where you belong. One...

PETER
Two.

RAY
Three!
PETER and EGON fire
You got him! You got him!
VIGO deflects the beams to the Ghostbusters. They fall down. He snarls.

WINSTON
That was really stupid.

EGON
Ray? Can you move?

RAY
No. Are you okay?

EGON
No. Venkman? How are you?

PETER
I'm fine.
VIGO finds OSCAR

DANA
No... no! Oscar- please, do something!

PETER
Not so fast, Vigo! Hey, Vigo! Yeah, you! The bimbo with the baby. Anyone ever tell you the big shoulder look is out? You know, I have met some dumb blondes in my life, but you take the taco, pal. Only a Carpathian would come back to life now and choose New York. Tasty pick, bonehead! If you had brain one in that huge melon on top of your neck, you would be living the sweet life out in southern California's beautiful San Fernando Valley!
VIGO shoots paralyzing rays at the Ghostbusters
Oh darn. Oh, darn it!

VIGO
Now we become one!
Music: Auld Lang Syne.

RAY
Where's that singing coming from?

WINSTON
The people outside.
VIGO is in pain

Outside museum
LOUIS runs up.

LOUIS
Sorry folks! Excuse me! Ghostbusters! Wow!
gets his proton pack ready
I'm here with you guys.

Restoration room

EGON
He's weakening! The singing is neutralizing the slime!

RAY
I can move!

DANA
Oscar!
VIGO is blown back into the painting- PETER catches OSCAR
Oh...

EGON
He's back in the painting!

PETER
All right, go find a shady spot. Viggy, Viggy, Viggy. You have been a bad monkey!
RAY goes up to painting

EGON
Uh, Ray? We'd like to shoot the monster. Could you move, please?

PETER
Ray?

WINSTON
Ray?!

PETER, EGON, WINSTON
Ray?!!!
VIGO enters RAY

VIGO
No! I, Ray, am Vigo, and rule the earth! Be gone, you pitiful half-men!

EGON
Now!
He and PETER fire- WINSTON shoots his slime.

Outside
LOUIS fires.

Restoration room
RAY jumps away, leaving the floating head of VIGO. He goes back into the painting.

VIGO
No!...
explosion, bright light

Outside
The slime mold breaks up. Cheering.

MAN
That was great! I loved it!

LOUIS
I did it!... I did it! I'm a Ghostbuster!

Restoration room
EGON and WINSTON tend to RAY.

EGON
taking off RAY's slime blower
Let's get this off.

WINSTON
How do you feel?

RAY
Groovy.

PETER
You all right?

DANA
Yes. Thank you, Peter.

PETER
to OSCAR
Spread out, shorty.
kisses DANA

RAY
dripping with slime
I love you guys. I love all you guys.

EGON
Great, Ray.

RAY
And I love Venkman... wow. Real friendship.

WINSTON
We gonna have to live with this?

JANOSZ
lying in a puddle of slime
singing
They will come from behind...
RAY helps him up
Ah, ah... why am I drippings with goo?

EGON
You had a violent prolonged transformative psychic episode.

JANOSZ
Eh?

RAY
Sorry we had to hose you down there, but you were kind of out of control. Hey, man. Let me tell you something. I love you.

JANOSZ
Yes? Well, I love you too.
they hug

WINSTON
seeing the VIGO painting
Hey fellas! You wanna take a look at this?

RAY
Wow!

EGON
Early Renaissance, I think. Raphael, or Pierro de la Francesca.

PETER
No, I believe it's one of the Fettucinis...
Painting is of PETER, RAY, EGON, WINSTON and OSCAR.
Angels sing. Voices shout "Ghostbusters!" Music: Ghostbusters.

Outside
People cheer. The Ghostbusters walk down the steps, with DANA, OSCAR and JANOSZ and LOUIS.

PETER's apartment
PETER looks in the fridge and doesn't like what he sees. He groans.

Ghostbusters HQ
RAY just smiles and laughs.

DANA's apartment
DANA tickles OSCAR. Music: On Our Own.

Museum
EGON laughs.

Outside Ghostbusters HQ
LOUIS walks into the wrong door of building, finds himself outside again, walks in.

Outside museum
WINSTON takes a breather.

Inside Ghostbusters HQ
JANINE carries some stinky ghost traps away.

Museum
JANOSZ smiles to the camera.

Outside museum
HARDEMEYER parties with some citizens. MAYOR stands around officially.

Courtroom
JUDGE stands around officially. PROSECUTOR is being treated for injuries.

Two views of OSCAR
He smiles.

Ghostbusters HQ
Slimer appears. Smiles.

Street
The Ghostbusters run down, guns in hand.

Central Park, brownstone, PETER's apartment, DANA's apartment
PETER and RAY, RAY and WINSTON, PETER, and EGON, respectively, do funky dance moves.

Statue of Liberty
She has been put back on her pedestal. The Ghostbusters accept the key to the city from MAYOR. People cheer. Pan back to the whole city. Fade to black. Final credits roll.

The End